Curious And Curiouser Podcast

What is emotional maturity?   Good question, huh? Doesn’t it seem like emotional maturity is all the rage these days, except that nobody is actually talking about what it really means to be emotionally mature.   Tracey and Cayly agree. Which is why they chose this topic for today’s episode of the podcast.   In this conversation, they talk about some of the hallmarks of emotionally mature people, how you can start to cultivate more emotional maturity in your own life, and how to deal with those folks in your life who maybe aren’t so emotionally mature themselves.   Tracey and Cayly also explain what codependence looks like in a relationship, and talk about their own experiences of dealing with codependent behavior, including how they have learned to curtail it before it takes over.   Enjoy this discussion and please consider leaving the show a 5-star rating and/or review in iTunes if you find it helpful. Tracey and Cayly would really appreciate it!     Highlights from this episode:   - Adult Children of Emotio

Think it’s too late to set intentions for 2018? It’s not! Every day is a good day for intention-setting, folks!   In this episode, Tracey and Cayly are following up on the conversation they had on their last episode of 2017, and talking in more detail about the kinds of intentions they’re both setting for this coming year. They also talk about the processes they’ve gone through to arrive where they’ve arrived, and the things they’ve found helpful along the way.   How do you set yourself up for success with intention-setting? How far is too far to push yourself outside your comfort zone?   These are the questions Tracey and Cayly are tackling this week. They also discuss the difference between intuition and fear and what to do before you set intentions.   So, if you’re still reflecting on 2017 and making some plans for the coming months, you are not alone! Tracey and Cayly are still very much working on these things themselves. And they hope this conversation provides some useful insights on how to set intenti

Oh hey! This week’s episode will be the last one of 2017.   What? I know! But Tracey and Cayly need a little vacation. Plus, this gives you time to catch up on all the episodes you missed these past several months so that you’re all ready for the new season starting on January 3rd of 2018.   To wrap up the year, Tracey and Cayly are talking all about New Year’s resolutions. Should you make them? Do they make them? Are resolutions actually helpful?   In this conversation, the ladies offer some advice on entering into next year on a positive note, explore some of the reasons resolutions don’t stick, and explore what you can do instead of setting resolutions that might actually set you up for success in the coming months.   As always, reviews and 5-star ratings are appreciated, so please hop over to the show page in iTunes and tell the world how much you love the show!   Thanks, friends! Happy Holidays! We’ll see you again on January 3rd!   Highlights from this episode:   - Do Tracey and Cayly make New Year’s re

Get ready, folks. This week on Curious & Curiouser, Tracey and Cayly are talking all about pornography.   Is it ok to enjoy pornography? How does pornography impact relationships? Is watching pornography cheating?   This conversation addresses all of these questions and more. It’s a lively discussion about a rather taboo topic. Tracey and Cayly sincerely hope you enjoy it.   As always, reviews and 5-star ratings in iTunes are appreciated. So don’t be shy! Head over to the show page and tell the world what you think! Thanks, friends!   Highlights from this episode:   - Demonizing the sex industry and the impact this has - The role of shame and secrecy in how we express and explore our sexuality - Is masturbation cheating? Is watching porn cheating? - The role of insecurity and the need to talk about this openly with your partner - Do your own your partner’s sexuality? - Are partnered sex and masturbation fulfilling the same desire? - Is erotic fiction different from pornographic videos? - Tracey’s experien

This week on Curious & Curiouser, Tracey and Cayly are answering a follow-up question sent in by a listener in response to their recent episode (#34) about navigating the holidays in the face of challenging family dynamics.   A curious podcast listener posited the following:  How do you know when it’s time to end a relationship with a family member?   Although Tracey and Cayly have talked around this topic before, they tackle it head on in this conversation. They also talk about their own experiences of distancing themselves from family members and ending relationships altogether.   Tracey revisits the idea of grey couch people and the ladies discuss ways of knowing if someone in your life is capable of change.   If you enjoy this episode, head over to the show page in iTunes and leave a 5-star rating or review. Tracey and Cayly would really appreciate it!   - Tracey’s experience distancing herself from her own mother and what that relationship looks like now - How Tracey knew it was time to stop communic

On this week’s episode of Curious & Curiouser, Tracey and Cayly are answering another listener question. Specifically, they are tackling the following inquiry:   What if you make a life choice that always has you outside your comfort zone? Is it best to stay in a job (or something else) that stresses you out but makes you grow as a person, or switch to something that’s a better match for your personality but leads to less growth overall?   Great question, listener (who shall remain nameless)!   In this conversation, Tracey and Cayly talk about being introverts in extroverted jobs, how they manage this apparent mismatch, and why they believe the discomfort is worthwhile for them in their professions. They also offer some suggestions on questions you can ask yourself if you’re afraid you’ve made the wrong choice career-wise.   They also talk about staying in relationships that are uncomfortable, reasons why people make this choice, and ways to navigate this less-than-ideal situation if you find yourself in

On this episode of Curious & Curiouser, Tracey and Cayly are asking the question:   How do you know when you need to push yourself a little bit more and when you actually need to rest?   This is a question both Tracey and Cayly find themselves asking on a regular basis in their own lives, and even more so in recent weeks. In this conversation, they talk about how to identify burnout, how to deal with burnout when it arises, and why the idea that we can ever achieve perfect balance is a myth.   Tracey talks about how winter in Portland affects her — especially the long hours of darkness — and Cayly talks about why she believes vacations are so important — especially for anyone who works in a service-based profession, is self-employed, or both.   If you have been feeling burned out lately, this episode is for you. Also:  You are not alone. We promise.   As always, reviews and 5-star ratings in iTunes are appreciated, so please jump over to the show page and leave the show some love. Tracey and Cayly would b

On this week’s episode of Curious & Curiouser, Tracey and Cayly are talking all about periods. They’re discussing PMS, hormones, fertility, and how to stop seeing your menstrual cycle as a nuisance.   Cayly gives an overview about how your hormones fluctuate throughout the month and how you might experience those fluctuations physically and emotionally, and Tracey and Cayly both talk about what PMS feels like for them. Tracey also talks about what it’s like to cycle every month without actually bleeding, and offers advice for parents on how to prepare their daughters for their periods.   Tracey and Cayly want to normalize periods, PMS, and women’s bodies in general, and believe conversations like the one they have on this episode are a good place to start. This show is full of useful resources, and they sincerely hope it helps you see your own period in a more positive light. And if you’re a man listening to the episode, they hope it gives you a bit more insight into what the women in your life might be e

How do you make the most of challenging family dynamics during obligatory holiday events?   Good question, huh? On this week’s episode of Curious & Curiouser, Tracey and Cayly are attempting to answer it and offering some advice about how to set compassionate boundaries with family members as the holiday season approaches.   This conversation is full of practical, actionable tips from Tracey, who is very knowledgeable and skilled when it comes to family systems and helping folks navigate challenging family relationships. And Cayly shares some thoughts about what’s worked for her in trying to adjust to some changing family dynamics in her own life over the past couple of years.   Tracey and Cayly hope this discussion is helpful for those of you who might be dreading the holidays and are unsure about what to do differently this year to make the most out of the obligatory family functions that are often a part of the season.   As always, reviews and 5-star ratings are appreciated, so if you enjoy this episod

Halloween is upon us! Which seemed like the perfect time for Tracey and Cayly to talk about fear.   Specifically, they are asking the question:  How do you know if fear is keeping you from making a mistake or is moving you “closer to the truth” as Pema Chodron tells us?   This question — and the ensuing conversation — was inspired by a listener, who wanted to know how to differentiate between the kind of fear that propels you towards growth and the kind of fear that is legitimately trying to protect you from acting recklessly when faced with a seemingly risky personal or professional decision.   In this discussion, Tracey and Cayly talk about how they address fear in their own lives, how they approach risks, and some of the tools they use when trying to making difficult choices.   Other questions considered: Does everything happen for a reason? Does the Universe have your back? Are we ever 100% ready to do anything?   This conversation was a good one and they sincerely hope you enjoy it. As always, if you're

Social media. That ever-present influence in our technology-obsessed culture.   If you are like Tracey and Cayly, you have found yourself wrapped up in social media a little too frequently and have started to wonder if your use of these platforms is, perhaps, not as healthy as it could be.   On this week’s episode of Curious & Curiouser, Tracey and Cayly are talking about how to start using social media more mindfully, exploring some of the ways technology can overtake our lives, and offering some suggestions on how to begin disengaging from your devices on a more regular basis.   This conversation also explores how Facebook and Instagram hijack our brains, why the developers of these apps are so good at enticing us, and what we’re missing out on when we fill otherwise empty space by visiting social media platforms and repeatedly refreshing our feed.   Tracey and Cayly wanted to talk about this topic because they, too, are guilty of over-engagement with social media and are seeking to create healthier hab

When Tracey and Cayly sat down to record last week, they honestly never intended to turn an impromptu discussion about sexual harassment into an episode of the podcast. But as they talked amongst themselves about a few experiences they’d both recently had, they decided on a whim to start recording their conversation so that they could share it with all of you. Because sexual harassment is pervasive in our culture, and is something we need to be talking about more. And although Tracey and Cayly recorded this episode before the #metoo hashtag began making its way around social media earlier this week, the issues they bring up throughout the course of this dialogue feel even more timely now.   As they mention in this discussion, they would love to hear from their listeners — both women and men — with any and all thoughts on these topics, including experiences you’ve had in your own lives. So if you have anything you’d like to contribute to this conversation, please email them at curiousandcuriouserpodcast@gmail.

Today’s episode of Curious & Curiouser is all about habit change. Specifically:   How do you change a habit? How do you replace an old habit with a new one? Is habit change about willpower?   In this conversation, Tracey and Cayly bust the myth of willpower and explain why they don’t actually think it has that much to do with habit change. They talk about what really matters when it comes replacing an old habit with a new, healthier habit, and discuss some of their own attempts at habit change.   Tracey and Cayly also offer some advice about how to get started with meditation, explore how small actions can lead to big change, and talk about how technology and social media play into all of this.   As always, reviews and 5-star rating in iTunes are appreciated. So please hop over to the show page to leave one. Your support is very appreciated!   Highlights from this episode:   - Do we believe in willpower? - Momentum vs. motivation and the concept of inertia - The importance of identifying the “why” behind

On this week’s episode of Curious & Curiouser, Tracey and Cayly are talking about how to make friends as adults (SO hard, you guys) and their experiences in building community in their lives.   This conversation is a response to yet another listener question, in which a question-asker who shall remain nameless sent in the following inquiry:    Have you cultivated your communities intentionally and how have you handled adjusting the people in your communities as you — and others — evolve?   Great question, anonymous listener!   Tracey and Cayly have talked about social decluttering on at least two previous episodes, and were glad to have the opportunity to revisit this topic one more time. In this discussion, they talk about how their communities have developed over the years, explore the challenges of making friends as adults, and offer advice on how to begin cultivating community more intentionally in your own life.   Listen, enjoy, and then share this conversation with your friends! And leave reviews an

On this week’s episode of Curious & Curiouser, Tracey and Cayly are tackling yet another listener question, revisiting the topic of envy but exploring in more detail how this plays out between women and girls specifically.   The question as presented by our listener is:  How do you pinpoint and overcome jealousy of other women and insecurity with yourself?   Deep breaths before this one, folks. Because it’s about to get potentially uncomfortable up in here. But also hilarious, as usual. And hopefully helpful as well.   Tracey and Cayly start by identifying the most common ways in which jealousy, envy, and insecurity show up among women and offer tips on how to navigate these feelings when they do arise. They also talk about the importance of identifying your values, the power of taking radical responsibility for your own life, and discuss how cultural messaging contributes to this habit of comparison-making among women.   As always, iTunes reviews are appreciated, so please hop over to the show page and l

Should you quit your job to follow your passion? Throw caution to the wind and pursue an artistic endeavor? Worry if your day job doesn’t totally light you up inside?   These are the questions Tracey and Cayly are addressing on this week’s episode of Curious & Curiouser, in a conversation inspired by an email from one of our listeners.   They talk about what to do if you don’t know what your passion is yet, describe their journeys to where they both are today in their own lives with regard to this topic, and explore the possibility that passion might just be overrated.   Cayly talks about why she doesn’t like the word “passion” as it relates to career paths and professional evolution, and the ladies explore different ways of thinking about these things that allow for more freedom in the choices we might make along the way.   Tracey and Cayly sincerely hope you enjoy this discussion and that you find it useful in your own lives.   As always, reviews and 5-star ratings in iTunes are appreciated, so please c

Good news! Tracey and Cayly are talking about everyone’s favorite subject again this week . . . Sex! In this conversation, they are answering another listener question and exploring the topic of sex as it relates to religion and spirituality.   Specifically, their listener posed this question:  How do you go from being told to have no sexual desire before your wedding night to flipping that switch after you’re married and being all in?   Whoa. Great question. Many thanks to Curious & Curiouser listener, Maddison, for sending it in!   In this conversation, Tracey and Cayly talk about sexual exploration, experimentation, and getting in touch with your own sexual desires. They also talk about the importance of understanding your own anatomy and knowing how your body works, and offer lots of useful resources for beginning to explore these things yourself.   Cayly describes the shame she felt when she started her period as a teenager, and they talk about how to start letting go of shame altogether as it relate

On this week’s episode of the podcast, Tracey and Cayly are answering another listener question. Hooray!   Today’s question comes from our listener — and friend — Kate, who asks:   What do your spiritual lives look like today and how did you each get where you are today with regard to your spirituality?   We love this question! Thanks, Kate, for sending it in! We also thought that this topic of religion and spirituality would be a great follow-up to last week’s conversation, in which Cayly talked briefly about her experience of leaving the Mormon church as a teenager.   In this week’s episode, you’ll hear about Tracey’s spiritual background from childhood for the first time, Cayly will reveal more details about what happened after she left the church, and both ladies will talk about what their spiritual lives look like now.   Tracey also offers some great tips on how to talk to your kids about spirituality, God, and tough subjects like death, and she explains how she reconciles being non-religious with sendin

In this episode of Curious & Curiouser, Tracey and Cayly are asking each other questions and diving deep into some rather personal topics as a way of letting you all get to know them a bit better.   Tracey dishes on her divorce, Cayly talks about leaving the Mormon church, and they both talk about regret — specifically, do they both believe in regret and do they have any regrets themselves?   There are a few light moments mixed in with all the real talk and lots of laughter as usual, of course. Please note that there aren’t detailed show notes attached to this episode, as this is more an exploration of who Tracey and Cayly are and where they come from, and a chance for you to get to know them more personally.   They sincerely hope you enjoy this very open, honest, and vulnerable conversation.   A couple of quick links:   - Tracey’s artwork for sale (Go buy some art!) (https://www.etsy.com/shop/SassafrassArtStudio?ref=l2-shopheader-name) - Cayly juggling on Instagram (Secret talents!) (https://www.instagra

Social decluttering:  Challenging, potentially awkward, and absolutely necessary.   If you enjoyed episode 4 of the podcast, you’ll love this conversation, in which Tracey and Cayly explore the question:  Does being your authentic self across all areas of your life organically weed people out?   They talk about social decluttering as it relates to dating, family, and — once again — friendships, and offer advice on how to gracefully exit a date, a relationship, or a contentious family situation.   They’re also discussing boundaries, authenticity, and self-knowledge as essential precursors to effective social decluttering, and the power of the “Fuck Yes” rule when determining what you really want.   As always, reviews and 5-star rating are appreciated, so please consider leaving one in iTunes. Tracey and Cayly would really appreciate it!   Highlights from this episode include:   - Episode 4 on Social Decluttering - Why Cayly doesn’t like the word “authentic” but we’re going to use it anyway - How do you know if