We Only Do One Take Podcast

World Cups chickens, digging big trenches, pizza delivery firemen and a bunch of stories about dogs; this episode has it all! Plus, Turch rants about how people compete about how little sleep they have, and a whole bunch of other things that these people do sync up to create the most annoying kind of person. Kieran on the other hand talks about the struggle of hearing loud people on the train. With the World Cup on Turch brings in an article about a chicken. Whats the connection? Kieran tells us about the great idea to dig a trench cutting ties with Qatar. Kmart becomes another villain of the show, with news.com.au And sex dolls are back on the show… sigh. Make sure you follow us on SoundCloud, iTunes, Instagram, Facebook and YouTube! If you would like to send a rant to the show, record it on your phone and email it to us at weonlydoonetakepodcast@gmail.com Or here: http://lmgtfy.com/?q=we+only+do+one+take+podcast+on+soundcloud

Episode 28 – Have you invested in Pot Coin yet? In this podcast, Kieran at 28 years of age, learns what a Calzone is. Char wins the sexiest cow competition. We update you on Kim Jung Un’s toilet that flew first class to Singapore! Thanks to Dennis Rodmas (former NBA player) who helped set the meeting between Trump and Un! He also invests his money on potcoin.com. More importantly, our CEO provides updates on the spoons. And Turch is getting annoyed that he is getting older and doesn’t go to the strippers as much. It’s a jammed packed episode.

Episode 27 – Don’t Be Late for Dinner Another great episode, we have another Billion dollar idea! There needs to be men couches that serve you drinks while your wife shops. Miss America scraps the swimsuit competition, Kieran and Turch are not happy! Jess joins us again as our guest and too our surprise Kieran turns up on time! By the way, don’t be late to dinner! Bonus material at the end of the episode.

Episode 26 – Puppet Jizz - We Only Do One Take Podcast It’s episode 26 of the show, and the boys are still in the dark. Please, send Kieran your light bulbs. He really needs them. Kieran starts the show off by requesting for more guitar solos, which never happens. Then he rants about doctors who are late… which is all of them. Whats in the news you say? Turch brings in a court case where a man had his penis measured inside a courtroom to prove it was bigger than what the woman said it was. Kieran brings in some PornHub stats related to the Royal Wedding. It’s as fantastic as you want it to me. Turch makes a comment that Prince Charles implied eugenics. Here is an article: https://realagenda.wordpress.com/2010/06/17/prince-charles-calls-for-eugenics-in-poor-countries/ Turch is getting into the FIFA World Cup, and tells the story of how the 1966 World Cup (won by England) was stolen, and then found by Pickles the Dog, who won the cash prize. Turch gives an update on the Brazilian player Ronaldinho; he is marry

Episode 25 – The Show at War – We Only Do One Take Podcast The rantiest episode ever What a crazy episode! Turch and Kieran tell the wankers about the ongoing battle they are having with Spotify and PornHub. As Turch has stated, please send Spotify a message saying that you want our podcast on their platform! It will really help us out! Turch rants about another toilet issue, and it includes a shower; having to shit after you shower. Kieran tells us about how German firefighters are being trained to remove rings that have got stuck on penises. You’ll never guess how! The boys put to rest the Yanni/Laurel debate, and Turch brings up a new debate. Turch brings in another porn related article, this time about Moe the Monster Kieran reviews a super hero film. What will his rating system be like this time? Turch brings in a new bit, YouTube Comments Time! It’s… average. And thw boys talk about the Royal Weddings, and regret not streaming it. Turch calls out news.com.au too Another listener rant from Jess, and it’s

14 hour sex sessions, all you can eat pizza, virgina headphones and two epic rants (thanks Alice and Aaron). This podcast is probably our best yet!

Episode 23 of the We Only Do One Take Podcast On this episode we have self-proclaimed Nerd Supreme Ayoub! Turch rants about his finger again, and complains about the public health system and fax machines. Nerd supreme bring in a story about a man who cut another man’s grass, drunk… and was arrested for it. Kieran on the hand talks about how he wouldn’t get a chip inside of him, if you know what I mean. Turch brings it all back to some of first episodes and brings up talk of male sex robots, and talks about the legalities and the potential of a female/male sex robot wedding. And with that, the boys put on accents. Have you ever heard such bad accents? Let us know what your favourite bad accent is! The dildo competition is bought up again (check out the video of episode 6!). Kieran doesn’t know what a Beanie Bear is. We finally have an ad, for simple, elegant hammocks, for our international listeners, from our partners at Rob Hammocks. Tick it off your bingo card, because Kieran brings in an article about the

A man's penis costs him $100,000! A Goose attacks a golfer, Uni students in the Cry Closet and Turch gets a new dog called Shaniqua!

Episode 21 of the We Only Do One Take Podcast! Our return guest is Niall for his fourth time on the show. Kieran makes an apology on behalf of Turch in regards to the way he ends the show. Turch is definitely not sorry. A debate ensures and I’m pretty sure you will want that time you listened to it back. The boys reminisce about last week’s phone call, and Jess tells Turch something magic that she learned. Turch rants about the lack of double shots of scotch available at bars, and how bar tenders will never allow you to buy double shots of booze. Kieran also rants about people not allowing for more time to get to the airport, and Niall states that Kieran should not do any more rants. Kieran follows that up with a story about his latest wedding he went to. Terrible. Turch tells a story about the time he asked for neat scotch at the casino and how a manager confused his staff. Turch segues Kieran into poo, and Kieran tells us the story about a lady who threw poo out of a window into another families BBQ. Niall

Episode 20 of the We Only Do One Take Podcast Twenty episodes in. Who let us do this? In this episode we celebrate Kieran’s birthday. Turch tells Kieran what he was going to give him for his birthday, but decided against it. Kieran tells us the story of where he spent his birthday, which leads into the best rant ever; lack of food and beverage facilities within a hospital. Turch continues his quest to find all of the stupid shit Nintendo have said about their character; this week it’s Waluigi. Kieran tells us of a huge 7 foot beast, and it’s not Turch’s penis. Turch also tells the story of how his nonna found out she was black. And the biggest news ever; in a new segment, Kieran Explains (please email us at weonlydoonetakepodcast@gmail.com with all of your questions!) we have our first (and possibly last) call in guest Jess. The boys also talk about how to survive a family holiday… oh boy.

Welcome back to the We Only Do One Take Podcast. It is season 2! Holy crap how the hell did we get to season 2? On this very special start to the season, two guests that we have been wanting to get onto the show for ages; professional Australian cosplayers Cienan and Heidi! Turch is back with a new rant. As he has returned from his cruise with his family, he is full of vigour and amazingly, he does not rant about family holidays. Instead he rants about entitled people who complain about petty things. Turch also tells stories of his family, but not really his family, but they still call him family. Quote of the trip, ‘I slepta likea piecea log’ Kieran brings up robot sex dolls again, of course. Apparently, a Spanish man is using a sex dolls to improve his marrage. Turch, Cienan and Heidi all fight for sex robot’s rights for half of the man’s stuff in divorce proceedings. Turch and Kieran freak out their guests by talking about their million dollar idea of a sex doll brothel. Intern Turch has even stated he wou

Episode 18 - The Easter Special! This is the final podcast for the season (though we are only having a one week break). Kieran and Turch have a push up competition. Kieran fails the competition and has to read out an apology letter written by Turch.

Grab your bingo cards from the facebook page, because this episode is a classic. Trump watch is back! CEO Kieran talks about the patron account (still no action) and Turch has a million dollar idea (it's called Porn Savers).

Episode 16 of the We Only Do One Take Podcast! Another big episode with special guest R Pow. R Pow is the co-host of Gourmetgoring, which is a drunk cooking show with WODOT co-host Kieran. Episodes are currently in pre-production and will be out very soon! R takes on the rant today, and rants about people not reciprocating favours, and people eating your food that you are saving in the fridge. Unforgivable CEO Kieran talks up the spoons again, and nothing comes of it. Turch talks about the biggest news of the year: a made up word from The Simpsons is officially in the dictionary! You’ll have to listen to find out what! Kieran talks of the WODOT dictionary Kieran brings in an article about a drunk bride and her run in with the law The boys give some incredibly useful advice and share their techniques to make the most out of your buffet experience. Meanwhile, Turch pours his beer into his scotch glass. And… TRUMP WATCH is back! And we get to talk about PORN STARS! We even talk up Clive Palmer… who we want on th

Episode 15 of the Wee Only Do One Take Podcast On this episode we have long-time friend and drummer from Dead City Ruins, Nick Traj! Turch starts this piss soaked episode with a rant about piss driblets, and alos talks about the upcoming push up competition to be hosted by the We Only Do One Take Podcast. Kieran spills his drink all over Traj twice, as well as breaks his wine glass. Trajs tells us how to cure masturbation with an old home remedy. Kieran talks about some local news, and brings up how he was a fire fighter… again. On top of all that, there are Simpsons quotes galore! If you wanna check out Dead City Ruins (and we suggest that you should) check them out here: https://www.facebook.com/deadcityruins/ Their new album Never Say Die, is available on the 13th April Get the Purple vinyl, and pre-order now! And check them out on YouTube. Turch is in this video! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G9bSADK1uWU Fun fact, Jerry Stiller does a cameo in Zoolander 2

Episode 14 of the We Only Do One Take Podcast Holy crap what an exciting guests we have on the show today: actor, producer, blogger and conspiracy theorist, Adam La Rosa! The boys get to talk to Adam and dive into his career as an actor and how he got to be the Executive Producer of the award winning film The Legend of Ben Hall. He also talks spills the beans of some of the cool and insider parts of the Australian film industry. Adam is also an avid conspiracy theorists, and Turch and Kieran dive into that. All the fun stuff is talked about: aliens, flat earth, 9/11, banking cartels and everything else you can imagine. Kieran rants about bad coffee, and ends up talking about strip clubs. Check out Adam La Rosa here: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm5414841/ Blog/website https://www.adamlarosa.com/ Twitter https://twitter.com/adam_la_rosa?lang=en Instagram https://www.instagram.com/adam_la_rosa/?hl=en The Legend of Ben Hall: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3844876/ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gllgrAcb_5c And make

Episode 13 of the We Only Do One Take Podcast! Holy crap what an episode! And the first time we have a studio audience Turch starts off with a killer rant about food, and Kieran is far too intrigued. Kieran also talks about a lovely grandmother who likes gardening. We finally tell a Valentine’s Day story about a man who really wanted to see the Red Hot Chilli Peppers with his partners, and gets a surprise. Kieran teases our potential show at the Melbourne Comedy Festival. We feel sorry for all the people in the UK who need an ID to access porn. And we start a push up competition. More details on that soon! Next episode we have a guest on, we promise!

Episode 12 of the We Only Do One Take Podcast We have our first returning guest, Niall on the show, and he is severely unprepared. Lucky, we have him covered. This week, Kieran talks of the mysteries of the kitchen etiquette, including a dirty sandwich press. Turch gets really angry regarding artwork and books being censored, and Niall talks about a crappy law about straws in the USA. Turch also tries his hand at talking about the sponsor... in his best Kieran voice... oh boy.

The classical guitar version of the We Only Do One Take Podcast Theme as used on the video Jabari's Story. Watch the video here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2-b_Ohe8eJs Subscribe to the We Only Do One Take Podcast on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/weonlydoonetakepodcast/

Episode 11 of the We Only Do One Take Podcast! Turch and Kieran have a very special guest on the show, The CEO and Food and Beverage Director or the news organisation The Watsonia Bugle. With the help of the bugle, Turch dives into the week with a rant about stupid types of yoga and then Kieran tells far too many stories about his recent trip to Vietman. The bugle does the Trump Watch, which involves a cute puppy! Cheers to The Watsonia Bugle for coming on the show! Check them out here: https://watsoniabugle.com/ https://www.facebook.com/The-Watsonia-Bugle-580650262134427/ And make sure you get onto the We Only Do One Take Podcast Facebook page and new group: https://www.facebook.com/weonlydoonetakepodcast/ https://www.facebook.com/groups/1518526531600999/?source_id=108053679989766