We Only Do One Take Podcast

We'll it is finally up! The actual episode 48! This has to be one the best episodes we have recorded! We talk about Jesus's foreskin, Christmas and how people want to fuck the Grinch! Check it out!

In this weeks episode... We rant about how the beer price is out of control. Also, a man builds a giant sculpture of a rude finger, poo is found on every McDonalds touch screen and Kieran is nominated for an award (the Uber late award)! If you have a rant or a compliant, address it to the CEO, and we'll get back to you in 2019 (or 2020).

Can you believe it, we are up to Episode 46! A message from the CEO To our dear listeners, Episode 46 is a cracker of a podcast. I am proud of our on time delivery of our podcasts. In fact, when we compare ourselves to other organisations, such as Connex or Yarra Trams, we bet them on time delivery by 1000%! In fact, our podcasts are always delivered on time (within the margin of error)! Enjoy

Episode 45 – The Birthday Special In this week’s episode… Kieran has a movie review. It gets a whopping 2.5 stars! The best yet. An Italian city installs speed cameras, they collect 58,000 speeding fines in first two weeks. Turch reveals he has never received a speeding find. We discuss the science behind why wombats poo are shaped as cubes. A woman is suing her boyfriend as his long penis stretched her vagina. And did you know that there is 1.5 million witches in America! Plus, Happy Birthday Turch! Don’t forget to listen to the end, as we have a special rant!

It's out. And it's terrible. Enjoy mother fuckers.

Welcome back to the show! Turch rants about people not using the traffic zipper method of merging onto freeways and highways. Kieran tells us another million dollar idea: self-driving cars that can be used as mobile brothels. He will investigate further. Turch gets Kieran to psychoanalyse another bride who set out a list of 10 rules for her husband. In the style of Art of the Deal, Turch helps the gentlemen out with a counter list to be used for negotiation. Kieran tells us the best way to extract drugs from sanitary pads. And the boys talk about the second hand market for sex toys. And finally Bill Gates is in the news as he has poo on his desk. Warning: Kieran may be dead next episode as he did not use a coaster. Make sure you follow us on SoundCloud, iTunes, Instagram, Facebook and YouTube! If you would like to send a death threat, hate mail or a rant, record it on your phone and email it to us at weonlydoonetakepodcast@gmail.com

Episode 43 – The Race that Stops a Nation – We Only Do One Take Podcast Welcome back to the show! To celebrate a long weekend for the Melbourne Cup, the boys have special returning guest Ryan on the show. Turch rants about how useless real estate agents have been during his time looking for a new place to live. The boys talk about The Simpsons again, and how sad it is that Apu will be leaving the show. Kieran tries to get the show to PAX, but forgets to complete the applications forms. Instead he tells us the story of a flight attendant falling asleep while drunk at work and tells the story of a human poo falling through ceilings at hospitals Wedding talk comes back up again and a bridezilla is professionally diagnosed by Kieran. Continuing the wedding talk, Ryan tells women how to find a husband And finally, Kieran warns of graphic photos of farting boobs. Make sure you follow us on SoundCloud, iTunes, Instagram, Facebook and YouTube! If you would like to send a death threat, hate mail or a rant, record

A track featuring Kieran from episode 42 of the show!

Episode 42: Bob and Jane! In this weeks episode… Memes are making children fat! Kieran rants about the lack of food at a Hackathon! He also learn about 4Chan. The Flushmate pressure-assisted toilet flushing system injures 1,500 people . The worlds dumbest criminals are caught red-handed, by returning the scene of the crime. And, Americans are advised to NOT dress their chickens in Halloween costumes. It’s a great episode. Make sure you follow us on SoundCloud, iTunes, Instagram, Facebook ad YouTube! If you would like to send a death threat, hate mail or rant, record it on your phone and email it to us at weonlydoonetakepodcast@gmail.com

We are back with season 3 and episode 41 of the We Only Do One Take Podcast! Sadly we are suffering a bit of the holiday blues. Sigh In this weeks episode, Turch rants about Americans, aeroplane toilets and hand dryers. Kieran also proves he is the weirdest man on earth. Trump watch is back; includes news about a hooker, 1/1024th native american and Ye. Kieran is back at it again with the super interesting stats from our favorite stats place; PornHub. Turch also has a bone to pick with Kieran about academia, and actually learns something. It's great to be back! Plenty of extra stuff coming up with season. Hopefully new announcements with cool stuff soon. Make sure you follow us on SoundCloud, iTunes, Instagram, Facebook and YouTube! If you would like to send a death threat, hate mail or a rant, record it on your phone and email it to us at weonlydoonetakepodcast@gmail.com

Episode 40 – The Midlife Crisis Special Holy crap we have made it to 40 episodes! In this episode, we wanted to give back to all the fans and special guests and make it a huge rant based episode. Big should out to Niall, Alice, Damien, Emkew and Cienan for their rants! In the news this week: auctioneering skills are used to shut down a protester, an Italian sex doll brothel is shut down Al Capone style, a delicatessen steals $13,000 of ham and how FEMA loves waffles. The boys rant too with huge rants about Serena Williams and data caps for internet. Thank you to all the fan for 40 episodes strong! We love you all! Make sure you follow us on SoundCloud, iTunes, Instagram, Facebook and YouTube! If you would like to send a rant to the show, record it on your phone and email it to us at weonlydoonetakepodcast@gmail.com

Episode 39 - Dogs Gone Wild In this weeks episode…Female Monkeys don’t trust males, even when they are right! Turch rants about the decline in Uber’s service! We have more PornHub insights, plus Kanye West is going to be a creative director for the PornHub Awards Los Angeles. Dog sitting gone wild! A owner comes back to find shirtless man in living room making a porno. If you think that is bad, a childcare centre hired pole-dancers for their grand opening! And a discount store recalls thousands of prank knives! Make sure you follow us on SoundCloud, iTunes, Instagram, Facebook and YouTube! If you would like to send a rant to the show, record it on your phone and email it to us at weonlydoonetakepodcast@gmail.com

And we are back with the show about nothing, the We Only Do One Take Podcast. As we steadily climb up to special episode 40, the boys are slowly preparing. Plently of goodness coming your way. In this week’s episode, Turch rants about boring people that have no hobbies and shamelessly promotes his gig at Bar 303 in Northcote, Melbourne, Victoria on the 8th September at around 9pm. Be there! Kieran tells us the story of his Viking heritage, and the zinger that caused him to enter the exhibit backwards. A long story about a wife who requested $1,500 is told and psychoanalysed, and a novel way of paying bills to ex-wives is told to counter the story. Kieran trolls a news reporter with a flux capacitor, the 2018 Air Guitar competition’s winner is announced, and a sneaky scam on the Paraguay police has the boys in stitches. All of this and more in this week’s episode of the show! Make sure you follow us on SoundCloud, iTunes, Instagram, Facebook and YouTube! If you would like to send a rant to the show, re

Remember folks, when we change a Prime Minister, change your smoke alarm!! At least you can rely on stability from the We Only Do One Take Podcast! In this weeks episode…. Kieran rants about free speech! Turch reveals the secrets on how to make your dating profile, excellent. An air marshal is arrested, Taco Bell revealed as the healthiest fast food restaurant, and watch out Jess, science reveals Kieran and Turch have a bromance! Make sure you follow us on SoundCloud, iTunes, Instagram, Facebook and YouTube! If you would like to send a rant to the show, record it on your phone and email it to us at weonlydoonetakepodcast@gmail.com

Holy crap how did we reach episode 36? Who the hells knows. Kieran tells us a story of his dad, and how they plan to smuggle booze onto a boat, and the crazy lengths they are going about it. Trump Watch is back on the menu, and the We Only Do One Take Podcast is happy to report that Trump is still in the WWE Hall of Fame and the President of the United States. Turch tells us a story of schadenfreude. What a tale! A story about pornhub also comes up, of course. We hope that Nintendo gets a browser soon. And to top it off, a real discussion about teachers, ATAR scores and the education system. Who would have thought these boys where smart? Make sure you follow us on SoundCloud, iTunes, Instagram, Facebook and YouTube! If you would like to send a rant to the show, record it on your phone and email it to us at weonlydoonetakepodcast@gmail.com Or here: http://lmgtfy.com/?q=we+only+do+one+take+podcast+on+soundcloud

Episode 35 - Deep Fried Chicken Diapers In this weeks episode…. Chickens are wearing diapers, fed up residents give monkeys the pill to save crops, Kieran rants about truth being late, man refuses to remove Nazi flag after claiming neighbour hacked WI-FI. Plus the Pussy Melter is back by popular demand. Turch also rants about the all the stupid national awareness days. Listen. Rinse. Repeat. Make sure you follow us on SoundCloud, iTunes, Instagram, Facebook and YouTube! If you would like to send a rant to the show, record it on your phone and email it to us at weonlydoonetakepodcast@gmail.com Or here: http://lmgtfy.com/?q=we+only+do+one+take+podcast+on+soundcloud

Im this weeks episode, an important announcement from the Centre of Disease Control and Prevention, DON’T re-use your condoms! We also have more stats from the Pornhub insights team. Jess returns and shows us a singing dog, and Turch rants about music! Make sure you follow us on SoundCloud, iTunes, Instagram, Facebook and YouTube! If you would like to send a rant to the show, record it on your phone and email it to us at weonlydoonetakepodcast@gmail.com Or here: http://lmgtfy.com/?q=we+only+do+one+take+podcast+on+soundcloud

After a weeks break, we are back with Hip hop artist IKE Major joining us on the podcast! As always, the most important news of the week is covered! A man has sex with woman, but doesn’t have a penis! Turch rants about news sites that have too much advertisement... and Kieran learns about music! Plus we rip into that famous person (you know, the one who made a sex tape). Make sure you follow us on SoundCloud, iTunes, Instagram, Facebook and YouTube! If you would like to send a rant to the show, record it on your phone and email it to us at weonlydoonetakepodcast@gmail.com Or here: http://lmgtfy.com/?q=we+only+do+one+take+podcast+on+soundcloud and check out Ike Major on Spotify, iTunes and SoudnCloud here: https://soundcloud.com/ikemajor

Episode 32 – Rude Guitar Pedals – We Only Do One Take Podcast Turch is charged enormous fees, Kieran continues his love of Elon Musk and both boys hate shirts. Kieran tells stories about another film he has seen, and rates a film five stars. What?! Turch talks about Steel Panther, and the worst bit of censorship in a very long time. A FIFA World Cup update and prediction (The boys like different teams for the final), and Trump watch is bank on the menu And ends with the boys getting kick out. All this and more on this week’s episode!

Episode 31, Bear Patrol – Have you paid your bear tax? In this weeks episode… a bear drinks a margarita and takes a dip in a California hot tub. Outrage in England, as beer glasses seized for being to small! We tell you the best way to eat popcorn. Pornhub have a new care team, and you won’t believe what they are doing now! And… we have some EPIC rants – don’t talk when your partner is reversing their car, Jess. Plus we have an update on the Spoons and our CEO provides an update on episode 29!