We Only Do One Take Podcast

Episode 69 – Clapping Dem Trans Alien Cheeks – We Only Do One Take Podcast We promised a sexy 69th episode, and the boys are in the studio for the least sexy episode ever. Turch rants about the lack of the money shot in porn. He really wants to see cum all over a girl. But he also rants about motivational speakers. Kieran brings in a story about a 150 year old dildo from China, made of Chine, sitting in Ireland. The stats are in for who is searching for alien porn on PornHub. The results may surprise you. A story about wogs is told. And Turch tells everyone about the trans-women Jessica Yaniv and her career ruining, paedophilic and racist ways. Check us out on YouTube! More videos from the best bits of the show coming! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aSFyzgJFwtE Make sure you follow us on SoundCloud, iTunes, Instagram, Facebook, Spotify and Twitter! If you would like to send a death threat, hate mail or a rant, record it on your phone and email it to us at weonlydoonetakepodcast@gmail.com And this can help

Episode 68 – Kieran becomes a Boomer – We Only Do One Take Podcast We are back in front of a live studio audience! On the casting couch (as Kieran called it) with us today is Niall! Kieran decides to be the biggest boomer on earth and complains about millennials not being appreciative. Turch on the other hand rants about Gift Cards. Jess decides to take Turch’s gift card. Kieran brings up his fascination with sex dolls, and talks about the app he found to have the sex doll do foreplay with you. Niall and Turch question why you would want this. Turch goes on a tirade about how porn is killing the environment, and challenges all the Greenies out there to stop watching porn. Kieran brings in some information regarding Metallica’s new cash grab: the Metallica picture story books. And a new conspiracy theory is bought up on the show. Check us out on YouTube! More videos from the best bits of the show coming! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aSFyzgJFwtE Make sure you follow us on SoundCloud, iTunes, Instagram

Episode 67 - STORM AREA 51 – We Only Do One Take Podcast We are coming to get you area 51! In this episode the boys talk about the hug event where only 1.5 million people who are planning to storm 51! Kieran reviews a film. No wait, he reviews the cinema in Ballarat, and gets told off for eating. Turch rants about the television show Taboo. And the boys go through the top chocolate bars in Australia and from around the world. A gender is revealed, and Kieran loses his job for asking for lobster. All this and more in this week’s episode! Check us out on YouTube! More videos from the best bits of the show coming! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aSFyzgJFwtE Make sure you follow us on SoundCloud, iTunes, Instagram, Facebook, Spotify and Twitter! If you would like to send a death threat, hate mail or a rant, record it on your phone and email it to us at weonlydoonetakepodcast@gmail.com And this can help: https://vocaroo.com/ if you would like to send us a rant!

In this weeks episode.... Turch rants about pens! Kieran provides another excellent movie review! Korean woman get a mention and we discuss weird stuff found at music festivals.

The boys are back with a new episode, and this will be the first new episode to be on Spotify! That’s right, the show is on Spotify. Pornhub, you’re next. Jess is on this show, and she is there to confirm the winner of the WODOT weight loss challenge and someone has to read an apology. A video will be out very soon on YouTube. Jess then rants about cooking, recipes and her inability to scroll down on a website. With Kieran back from Singapore, he tells a weird story about the hierarchy of girls at a night club. Kieran also talks about the final bit of the story with the Who Are These Podcasts? Kieran makes a mistake. Turch goes all Alex Jones on the podcast and brings in the evidence that has been released by the FBI from the 1970’s that relates to the existence of Bigfoot. HE HAS THE DOCUMENTS! IT’S ALL DECLASSIFIED! THE GLOBALISTS ARE COMING! THEY ARE KEEPING IT ALL IN PLAIN SITE! Kieran brings in a story about airplanes, while Jess talks about google maps and cars and Turch brings in the battle of the cent

Episode 64 – Chips, Hotdogs, and Thots – We Only Do One Take Podcast Kieran tells us how he organised a meeting where he just watched sports. The weight loss challenge ends next week! Australia was just surveyed to find out what is Australia’s favourite chip. The boys go through the finding with a fine tooth comb and discover that it’s wrong. Kieran tells us what is harder than getting into Harvard University. Incredibly, it involves hotdogs. Turch tells us of a scammer that contacted the podcast, and how Turch tried to get the podcast back onto Pornhub. Kieran tells us an official statement from the Airforce about a training exercise that created penis images in the sky. Turch reviews the Elton John film Rocketman and rants about people eating in cinemas. Kieran berates him for this film reviewing abilities. A beer company decides to stop making their delicious ‘crisps and chips’ beers, or was that ‘Crips and Bloods’ beers Kieran? And the Thot audit v2 continues! All this and more in this week’s episode!

Episode 63 – The Speed of Elections – We Only Do One Take Podcast Huge episode (as usual). The boys also talk about their weight loss challenge and how they are better than Australian television presenter Samantha Armytage. Turch rants about speed signed and old science, and somehow starts a political campaign. Speaking of campaigning, the election results are finally out and everyone is super happy! So happy that everyone is moving to another country! Turch and Kieran rant on about Go Fund Mes. Includes the best segment, AN UPDATE ON THE FLAT EARTH PEOPLE! Kieran brings in some Porn Hub stats about Game of Thrones, and talks about the most drunk country and profession. The Results will surprise you! All this and more in this week’s episode! Check us out on YouTube! More videos from the best bits of the show coming! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aSFyzgJFwtE Make sure you follow us on SoundCloud, iTunes, Instagram, Facebook and YouTube! If you would like to send a death threat, hate mail or a rant, record

In this weeks (delayed) episode, it’s Kieran Birthday!!! Thanks to everyone who sent in a birthday message. We discuss cos play, people injecting oil in their dicks, toilet humour, Michael Jackson, mean with beards have smaller penises, new condoms on the market, and the best invention ever, a baguette pillow!

The challenge is definitely on with the weight loss challenge with the boys well on their way, both via different methods. Kieran on the LIte’n’Easy and Turch on the keto diet. The weight loss has definitely started! Kieran down 2.5 kilos and Turch down 4.9 kilos. Insanity! But since the weight loss challenge has been going on, the boy’s toilet usage has changed. Turch rants about dry pisses, and pissing way too much. And also the issue of scratching your ass when you are in public. Kieran tells us a story about a brewery van that was stolen and was returned almost instantly. Kieran also tells us how to get free stuff by chatting up admin staff. LIFE HACKED. Turch talks about the Sonic the Hedgehog trailer, what the producer is doing with it and how Tommy Wiseau has to do with the future of the franchise. The Alibaba owner comes out and tells us to all have more sex. Winning once again! Turch gives us an update on the Flat Earth people. Kieran abuses his students. And we ask ‘white supremicist’ Stephen Fry R

Episode 61 – Losing Weight and Respect– We Only Do One Take Podcast Holy crap, a new challenger has appeared! Kieran has returned from holiday to find out he is the heaviest he has ever been. Turch agrees; they are both the heaviest they have ever been. A WEIGHT LOSS CHALLENGE to rival the Boomer vs Zoomer podcast begins! Kieran tells us a story of Vietnam, again… I’m pretty sure that has been said before. Turch makes a huge admission about the podcast we did with Who Are These Podcast? What actually happened will surprise you and is both super funny and sad. Kieran talks about prawns with drugs and coughs his way through the story. A new debate! Is this a layered salad a lasagne? And is a hotdog a sandwich? Kieran talks about the lack of porn in China due to their internet access. A quick whip around the in the news, including the Flat Earth people! And Kieran gives us his professional opinion on a person who wants to live as a disabled person. Check us out on YouTube! More videos from the best bits of the

Episode 60 –Wod vs Wog featuring Asterios Kokkinos – We Only Do One Take Podcast Can you believe Asterios Kokkinos is on the show! We chat about: • Terrible Australian internet • Australian comedians and actors • How much better Australia is compared to New Zealand • Goon of Fortune • The new Star Wars trailer, George Lucas’s love of Jar Jar Binks and Disney • The Ukraine comedian who became the President If you have never heard about Asterios, here is a brief overview! • Star co-host of The Biggest problem in the Universe. • He greatest contestant on Let’s Make a Deal and annoyed the shit out of look at Wayne Brady • Comedian on The Dick Show • Beat internet relic Maddox in a lawsuit • The greatest boxer in the world, defeating the ex-moderator of the /r/ Donald reddit page • Star in ‘Mumkey Jones stops a school shooter’ • Host of millions of podcast • And the loser of 15 pounds in the (hashtag) Boomer vs Zoomer weight loss challenge All this plus a whole bunch more! Check out Asterios here: https://www.a

In this weeks (delayed) episode, we discuss the budget! Turch or Kieran rants about something important! I'm a little bit drunk uploading this in Vietnam, getting the spoons. Happy Easter!

Episode 57 –The Earth Is Flat and We Have Proof – We Only Do One Take Podcast Kieran is live in the studio for episode 57 of the podcast! And what an episode we have on our hands. Kieran and Turch both have rants this time on very different topics. Kieran brings in the double up of ads on YouTube videos. Turch may have a solution, and the boys have a million dollar idea. On the other hand, Turch rants about petrol stations and the whole experience from pumping the petrol, to paying, to feeling ripped off. Turch tells us of his week trying to talk to people who believe in the Flat Earth. He has been trying to get someone on the show, and instead found a bunch of insane people who believe that some people are also reptiles. Kieran tells us about a new lawsuit that is happening in Australia and it involves farting. Turch tells some airplane stories: a man gets on a plane named because he’ll be more aerodynamic and one about the lamest activist groups, Collective Shout. And finally a film review of Bohemian Rhap

Episode 56 – Shooters and Boomers and Pedos, Oh My! – We Only Do One Take Podcast Another episode with Kieran via Skype, and incredibly, massive technical issues. Sigh. Sorry for the audio quality on this one. With us is returning guest all the way back from episode 10, Damien! A huge debating/ranting episode this one. Kieran brings up the Australian meme Eggboi. Turch goes on a rant, and Damien actually does the research and explains that the last time a politician got egged, we got the Australian Federal Police. Gotta love Australia. The boys dive deep into the New Zealand shoot and point out the hypocrisy of the politicians wanting to band Facebook live streams and parts of the internet. Turch reads the statement from the CEO of Kiwi Farms sent back to the federal government of New Zealand regarding their request for private user data information. Kieran tells us about his appreciation of David Letterman. Check out this sweet as video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M65Dx0STe2M Kieran may have stolen D

In this weeks episode Turch rants about straws, Kieran goes on strike and has a fight with an SJW. Turch discusses the UK porn ban and we end up in a religion debate. Enjoy!

Episode 54 – Weird Fetishes with Dahn Rozario - We Only Do One Take Podcast This is the first episodes we are doing with Kieran via Skype, and incredibly, we only had a few small technical issues. On this week’s episode, we have another incredible guest: professional stand-up comedian Dahn Rozario! Dahn has been working the circuits here in Melbourne for the last two years. Recently he has been on stage with a bunch of cool Australian comedians and is even hosting a bunch of events around Mlebourne. Check out his latest show at the Wesley Ann on the 12th March 2019! Tickets here; https://www.facebook.com/events/262178111169874/ And a new challenge is born, stand-up comedy based. Turch has it in for Cards Against Humanity, the Communism of comedy. Kieran doesn’t bring in porn hub stats, but instead brings in a new study showing that spider venom can make you rock hard. Somehow foot fetishes come up… A cardboard cut-out of a CEO with a pillow raises issues with the police. We prove that the Romans where just a

Episode 52 – You don’t dog the boys and you don’- We Only Do One Take Podcast In this week’s episode we have the CEO of our favourite news site back on the show, The Watsonia Bugle! In this episode, Turch tells a fantastic story about the greatest feeling in the world: being 100% right and tells everyone how his dad made that feeling even better. Kieran brings in stats from our favourite website, Pornhub stats! Turch and Bugle play a fun game; what is the most popular searched item on Pornhub. Turch talks about Ryan Creamer, the cutest Pornhub account. https://www.pornhub.com/model/ryancreamer The Watsonia Bugle is back on the show, celebrating his second time on the show, and celebrating their second birthday since their first post! Big news coming from The Watsonia Bugle regarding a man, Rick Bitter, naming his daughter Victoria. We discuss its reach and what’s next for the Bugle. Check out The Watsonia Bugle here: https://www.facebook.com/pages/category/Media-News-Company/The-Watsonia-Bugle-58065026213442

Episode 51 - Duncan the Drinking Bird - We Only Do One Take Podcast Welcome back to the We Only Do One Take Podcast! Episode 51, how did we come so far! The boys are back in a new studio bringing you the hot news from around the globe. A lot has changed other than the new studio. Kieran has moved to Ballarat for a new job and he goes on a super incredible rant about induction days. Turch gives us another Tale from the Internet. In this week’s episode, Turch tells us the tale about John McAfee; his history, antivirus and why he is running from the law, running for president and why he is on a boat near Belize (maybe). Kieran hops on to... cow Tinder? And we look at some hot bulls. And Turch tells you how you can get away with watching porn at work. Check us out on YouTube! More videos from the best bits of the show coming! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aSFyzgJFwtE Make sure you follow us on SoundCloud, iTunes, Instagram, Facebook and YouTube! If you would like to send a death threat, hate mail or a rant,

Episode 50 – Holy Crap it’s the 50th Episode – We Only Do One Take Podcast Holy crap, 50 episodes of the show! How the hell did we make it this far? On this show we have special recurring guest, the beautiful, the funny, the annoying Jess on the mic. Jess kicks us off a rant. Guess what, it’s another rant about Kieran. It’s about episode 48. Holy crap what a shitshow. (Thank you James from Sydney) Turch does the biggest rant of show and it involves mainstream media and YouTube stars. Kieran reads a fake letter and becomes a boomer. Jess tells us a story about a woman drinking wine in a parking lot It’s a new year, so a new segment has been added to the show: Tales from the Internet! Featuring Garfield. (check it out here: https://garfield.com/comic/1990/05/30) Jess gives us a cricket update, Turch rants again about Harry Potter and Kieran finds his dream job. Shout out to Ocean Reach Brewery for the beer. It’s the best IPA beer we have ever had. And some big news about the show, and the discussion of a new

Episode 49 – The First Massage of the New Year – We Only Do One Take Podcast Happy New Year to all of our lovely wankers out there! We are starting this year with another live episode from our Phillip Island studio in front of a live audience! Sadly, there is no dildo testing competition this year. Check out our previous Phillip Island show here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BJxBRHJkya0 but Kieran finally opens his Christmas gift from Turch and describes it in the most phallic way possible. See the pictures on Instagram! This year, Turch starts us off with a story about his Christmas experience. It involves multiple days, lots of food, hot weather and a leaky tyre. Kieran on the other hand, suffering from back pain from too much drinking and being in the spa for too long, decides to get a… massage. With the help of our nurse on staff Alice, Kieran tells the story of his massage experience in full Kieran details. Turch gives an update on all the previous guests onto the show including Adam La Rosa (episode