School Of Awesome Sauce With Greg Denning

In our line of work coaching families for the past 20 years, we get an up-close-and-personal look into the lives of many different types of people.  It’s a sacred privilege and we learn so much. We often experience a wide range of emotions, from empathy to despair to elation. And not going to lie, sometimes we get fired up or frustrated about the things that people do — or don’t do — especially the things that THEY know they NEED to do.  They will receive a clear insight about something they should do or should NOT have done… but then they don’t act on it. This is usually because it’s big, frightening, requires too much work — or all of the above. In this episode, we dive into the long-term consequences of avoiding or ignoring these important moments of clarity. Plus, we'll cover what to do about your fears of the 'unknown'. If you’ve ever had a very clear moment, thought, or feeling about something you should do, or realized clearly that something you did do was a mistake but didn't know how to fix

"I would like to be more confident but my face turns red if I am embarrassed, nervous, shy, afraid, or just talking with someone. Without that handicap, I know I would be more confident, but unfortunately, I let it stop me all too often. But I heard that Mr. Denning used to be really shy and his face would turn red anytime people would even ask him a question in class. I'm heading off to college soon and am a bit overwhelmed. I do the same thing, I am generally an introverted person, but I really enjoy talking with people and learning, but I don't want to miss out on that because my face looks like a fire engine." We answer this question in this episode and share our personal stories about being shy and introverted as children and teens (my face also turned red while talking to people). We discuss how we overcame these challenges and how gaining confidence can help you not only in college but in marriage and as a parent, too. If you feel that you could use some more confidence in your life then you definitely

As a parent, if you knew there was ONE major characteristic which — if developed — would drastically increase your child’s chances of success and happiness, not only now but as an adult… wouldn’t you want to know what it is?  And wouldn’t you do everything in your power to help your child develop that characteristic? As parents of seven children, we give a definite ‘Yes!’ We want to know and we want to help them develop it as fully as possible. Well, researchers have followed a large group of people from childhood into adulthood and they found a common denominator that could predict future success. Children who demonstrated more self-control at age 11 were more likely to be happy, healthy, and successful at age 32. And the best part is that self-control is a learnable skill. It is a skill that we, as parents, can teach to our children. And it is done in simple ways during interactions on a daily basis. Listen to this episode to learn simple strategies for helping your children to develop more self-contro

Emotions can be big and scary — for both parents and children. But it is possible to teach — and model — emotional management for your kids. Emotions are EVERYTHING. Our lives our experienced through emotions, so by default, the quality, quantity, and content of our emotions determine the quality and content of our lives. We can and should educate our emotions — and teach our children to do the same. How? That’s what we’ll cover in this episode. Strategies for dealing with a range of feelings (which are normal), and how to validate and accept them when they arise while working through them so they don’t stay to cause long-term distress or trauma. Don’t miss this! This episode is sponsored by our Teaching Children to Manage Their Emotions Workshop. For even more strategies on how to do this consistently and well, visit the link in the show notes to get access to this Workshop now! https://courses.extraordinaryfamilylife.com/pages/workshop-help-kids-manage-emotions --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor

There is a lot of ‘surface tension’ in the media today -- social and mainstream. Lots of polarity and opposition about intense topics. And it bothers me. Because it paints the picture that there are only two sides to any issue. And that’s just not true. We (as individuals and society) have to look beyond the ‘surface tension’ of topics to the underlying problems and underlying causes of those problems. There is so little we know — we as a society, (and especially ‘we’ as in Greg & Rachel). But we do know that “as the area of your knowledge increases, so too does the perimeter of your ignorance.” To have more peace in society — and to find more real, lasting solutions — we have to learn to look past what we THINK we know to what we might not know that could be true. In this episode, we walk through the process of learning to look BEYOND the ’symptoms’ to the root causes of the disease in society that plague us. We discuss the problems with a ‘symptom management’ based focus on issues — not only political a

We get a little serious in this episode -- and Greg sheds a few tears -- because in our work we've seen the trauma caused by yelling parents. “People are people no matter how small.” Your children are people. And when you yell at them — consistently and in anger — you’re traumatizing them. How dare you treat a precious being in your care with such contempt. Stop it! You’re the adult. Learn to act like it. They deserve your love and respect. Despite this harsh and straightforward statement, we are actually very empathetic to the stress and overwhelm parents are under. We do know that children can be annoying and can push all your buttons. We know that you’re exhausted, depleted, unsupported, and pulled in every direction. But ultimately, while yelling might work in the short term, it damages relationships in the long term. Yelling means you’ve reached your ‘wits’ end’, have run out of parenting skills, and don’t have a close enough attachment with the child you’re yelling at. Listen to this episode to learn ho

Have you ever thought of chores as child abuse? I haven’t either. But I shared a post on Instagram about our system for organizing chores and I was shocked at the number of NEGATIVE comments I received from people who believe that giving your children chores is akin to child labor and abuse. One comment said, “Parents who want to do less [sic] things by dumping it on kids should be ashamed of themselves. Kids do not need to have regular chores in order to learn responsibility and you know it VERY WELL… you aren't teaching, you are USING kids!” Another comment said, “There is plenty wrong and abusive in making children feel they must contribute to the household. Why? Because it's putting undew [sic] pressure on children, pressure that they should not have.” One more states simply, “Children should not be made to do regular chores.” And finally, “CHORES FOR KIDS? More like mom and dad don't want to do their household duties!” This concept wasn’t entirely new to me. I had come across it in some out-of-the-way li

When Greg Denning was out on his own as a teenager it wasn’t difficult for him to realize that his life sucked… but he desperately wanted it to be better and different. Nobody wants to live a sucky life and stay there. But it was so interesting to him to watch people live a sucky life — and stay there. They would keep doing the same things that would produce the same sucky results. As a 16-year-old he was able — miraculously enough — to look around and say, “Dude, stop doing what you’re doing and you’ll get different results.” It was just easy for him to see as a teen, even though he wasn’t yet able to articulate it into something we live by — “Nothing in my life will get better until I get better.” Greg came to realize — then experience — then teach thousands of people on five continents that when YOU get better, everything else in your life gets better too. In today’s episode, we are discussing how this applies to parenting. Many parents keep doing things that are producing sucky results and unnecessary pai

You may have seen or heard that we’re planning a move to Portugal — and hoping to travel while making the transition. We received some questions about this: “We would love to travel more, even long term, but I am getting more hesitant because of predictions about downturns in the economy, warfare, etc. I see a lot of people encouraging self-reliance and preparation at this point in time (ie growing and storing your own food). This seems like it would be hard to do while traveling. I want to protect and provide for my family, but I also see the amazing benefits of traveling as a family. What is your take on these predictions and what does your family do to prepare for potential crises? Should these things be taken into consideration when considering where to travel and when? Things have changed so much in the world in just a couple of years!” We also had some Instagram followers and podcast listeners asking, “How do you decide where to travel or where to LIVE? And how do you go about getting a visa t

We all have blind spots. We all have things we’re doing (or not doing) that are causing or contributing to our own problems. In our coaching, we often work with people who keep doing (or not doing) the things that are keeping them miserable and unhappy. If they could just STOP then they could drastically change their life. Of course, this is easier said than done, otherwise, you would ALREADY have stopped or started the things that need to be done and wouldn’t be suffering from the current challenges you face. In this episode we dive into specific strategies for DOING what MUST be done -- the things that IF done will change everything — improve your marriage and parenting, help you make more money, or to achieve that big goal or dream that’s been locked away somewhere in your soul. It can be difficult to make the effort or find the courage to do these things. We acknowledge that doing them is hard and that you might not feel ready to do them. But the only way you will GET ready IS by doing them. As the Stoics

Understanding YOURSELF and the other human beings around you is one of the trickiest and most complex aspects of life and relationships — Your personality begins to form from conception, in the womb, and as you grow as a child. You don’t start to become aware of this until much later in life (and some people never gain awareness of who they are and what makes them do the things they do.) For a long time, Greg and I were not fans of personality tests — until Jordan Peterson’s Big 5 Personality Test. They felt too confining and victimizing, labeling you as a certain color or number. They weren’t holistic. Human beings are more complex than that. This personality test is different and has been peer-reviewed and works across cultures. Greg and I analyze our personal levels of Agreeableness, Conscientiousness, Extraversion, Neuroticism, and Openness to Experience. There’s a lot of laughing at ourselves through this process. :D In this episode, we walk through (and psychoanalyze) our personal results on the Big 5 P

Have you ever had that inner feeling of discontent, frustration, guilt, or dissatisfaction? (I know I have.) Have you ever thought — what’s the point of setting goals? I’ll just be disappointed. Or have you ever tried to achieve something — losing weight, earning more money, or improving your marriage — only to finally give up and accept yourself and your circumstances? In this episode we’re going to dive into why many people feel and think this way — and how ‘accepting things as they are’ can be a good short-term strategy, but it’s a bad long-term plan. Why? Because you end up living in incongruence and you’ll make yourself miserable -- now and in the future. There is an inner knowing in your soul — a blueprint of your potential — and as long as you live below what you’re capable of you’ll always feel that something is missing (which you’ll try to assuage or excuse away with eating, scrolling, or Netflix).  But the only way to find lasting happiness is to accept the call to your highest self and to reac

We received some great questions about parenting that we’re addressing today. We love it receiving questions so if you have one please don’t hesitate to ask us. You can leave a voice message for us on our podcast page, or you can email us support@extraordinaryfamilylife.com The first question is about teen device usage and sneaky behavior. We are having an issue with our son's cell phone usage…We limit it and have always made him turn in his cellphone at night to promote good, healthy habits.  I just discovered that he has been hiding an old cracked cell phone that he has been using at night.  He also has apps such as TikTok and Snapchat that we do not allow.  I know that the phones and apps are made to be addicting.  I just don't know how to approach this issue.  I will be turning off the wifi night now but how do you deal with the sneaking second phones and apps?  It indicates to me that he may be addicted to these apps and his phone.  I am curious if you have encountered

We regularly receive questions from parents and spouses on all sorts of topics — and we love it! If you have a question please don’t hesitate to ask us. You can leave a voice message for us on our podcast page, or you can email us support@extraordinaryfamilylife.com Recently we received some questions about marriage — specifically how to have more engaging conversations and intellectual connections with your spouse as opposed to discussing the mundane life logistics all the time? Along those lines, how do you ‘accept’ your spouse for where they are on their growth journey — while still encouraging and helping them to do better, to make an effort, and to be interested and interesting? Connected to this — which we explain in this episode — is how to make more time for sexual connection, especially when you’re trying to go to bed early so you can start your day with a morning routine? And how do we (Greg and I) make time for sex multiple times per week?! We also get fired up about how a well-known sexpert is jus

Greg and I are always fascinated by ideas, the search for truth, intellectual discussion, and meaningful connection. As intentionally as we have designed our lifestyle, it’s still rare for us to have all of those things in one evening. But we got the chance last week when we drove to Birmingham, AL to listen to Jordan Peterson present a live lecture at the Alabama Theater. He discussed a chapter from his new book, Beyond Order: 12 More Rules for Life about the importance of beauty and art. In this episode, Greg and I share our own journey of discovering beauty during our journey from overlanding hippies living in our truck with five kids, to moving to Germany where we encountered the enduring art and beauty of castles and cathedrals and how that changed us. In a special VIP session after the lecture, Peterson answered some questions about the current state of the world and what his thoughts are about what society might be facing. Greg and I unpack this and share some of our own thoughts about the Fourth Turni

Greg and I just returned from an incredible trip to Portugal to celebrate our 21st anniversary and we’re excited to record an episode about it. We’re going to share all the romance, magic, and serendipity we experienced that surprised even us. It’s difficult for us to put in words the super special experience we shared together during this trip. But we’re going to unpack it for you, explain the key ingredients that made it so meaningful, and outline some foundational principles for creating more magic and serendipity in your own life. You don’t want to miss the romance and magic of this special episode! If you haven’t already, make sure to get our Must-Read Book Recommendations for creating an Extraordinary Family Life. We have books on parenting, marriage, health, finances, and lifestyle design. Plus get a free ebook that will change your life — The Majesty of Calmness. http://extraordinaryfamilylife.com --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/gregory-denning/message

Welcome to the podcast! We’re discussing something today that is crucially important to raising healthy, well-adjusted kids. We want to teach them to NOT be quitters, to follow through, and to have grit and perseverance. But in this episode, we lay out some arguments which show that the way many parents are trying to accomplish this is actually having the opposite effect. When we make a six-year-old take dance class even though she hates it but we don’t want her to be a ‘quitter’, what we’re actually doing is engendering resentment — and she’s not actually learning the lesson we’re trying to teach. Don’t worry! We’ve got some specific strategies for getting those outcomes you want. But you might be surprised that they’re not what you expected. Listen now to learn what they are. If you haven’t already, make sure to get our Must-Read Book Recommendations for creating an Extraordinary Family Life. We have books on parenting, marriage, health, finances, and lifestyle design. Plus get a free ebook that will change

Hey everyone. We hope you’re having a great week. I know Greg and I are excited to have some sunshine and warmer weather after two cloudy and cold weeks. Today we’re discussing something which — at first glance — seems overly simplistic. We’re talking about HOW to wake up. And yet, waking up is something every one of us does and we do it every single day of our life. There’s an incredible power that comes when we can learn to do BETTER the things we do consistently. One of those things is waking up. There are specific ways to be more intentional about waking up each morning. And when you learn how to control and your direct your mornings, it provides a lot of power for controlling and directing your life. Helping your mornings to go better helps your life to go better. Listen to this episode now to learn the strategies we’ve been using for the past 20 years to design our mornings — which then led to designing our life. This episode is sponsored by our Must Read Book Recommendations which includes two FREE aud

Today we are diving into a detailed look at what living an ‘extraordinary’ life looks like on the day-to-day. The majority of your life — and ours — is spent in daily activities that can be mundane. Dishes, laundry, errands.  Even with a travel lifestyle like ours, we spend most of our time sitting in a vehicle on a road trip or waiting in an airport. How do you make the ordinary, routine, ‘boring’ daily interactions more meaningful and purpose-filled? We’ll share specific strategies that we’ve used for over a decade to turn the transactional into transformational. If you’ve ever felt that life is like the movie ‘Groundhog Day’ then you definitely want to listen to this episode so you can learn how to get unstuck and make the daily interactions you’re ALREADY having with your spouse and children special, memorable, and magical. This episode is sponsored by our Be Your Best Self Bundle. The Strength of Your Family Begins With the Strength of the FOUNDATION = YOU YOU are the foundation of your family. You

Welcome to the podcast! In this episode Greg and I are answering a question about clashing cultures — what to do when the status quo conflicts with your unconventional lifestyle choices — especially if the clash is happening in your own family. It’s not uncommon for someone like you to try to do life differently and then to get ‘thrown under the bus’ by the naysayers and ‘reality checkers’. Maybe you want to homeschool, travel with your family, eat a different way than you were raised, or to take a different path in college or career than the generation before you. How do you handle the unavoidable conflict that arises from your unconventional choices? Is it best to create healthy distance and accept these differences? Or is there a way to create agreement and harmony despite diametrically opposed viewpoints? Listen now to hear the answer! This episode is sponsored by our Be Your Best Self Bundle. The Strength of Your Family Begins With the Strength of the FOUNDATION = YOU YOU are the foundation of your fami