Thriveology Podcast | Success | Personal Development | Self-improvement | Thrive | Resilience | Thrive Nation

So many of us feel despair.  It is not as much a loss of hope as loss of purpose.  There is no hope without a sense of purpose.  It is in your basic design. Humans are meaning-makers.  We find meaning in what happens (or doesn't happen) around us and to us.  We can find meaning in random numbers and events, in an attempt to make sense of the world. But meaning, alone, is not enough.  We also need a sense of purpose. We need to feel that we are moving toward something worthwhile... something significant. You have a purpose.  Whether you are moving toward it or not, it is within you.  Waiting. It is your purpose imprint.  Finding it is not enough.  But achieving it isn't what marks success.  It is in the movement toward your purpose. In this week's Thriveology Podcast, I discuss how we are primed for purpose, need a sense of purpose.  And I cover what happens when you don't have that purpose.  And we discuss how to move toward that purpose. RELATED RESOURCES MPI Triad Meaning Matters Thrive Principles Boo

These are some crazy times, aren't they?  The world seems upside-down.  A pandemic, politics, conspiracy theories... news just seems to be crazier and crazier every day. And that can catch up with each of us, stressing us out and leaving us afraid.  Which places your body and brain on constant alert. That is exhausting. And chaotic. Why do those news stories and social media feeds keep us so amped up and stressed out?  And how can you stay calm(er) in the midst of chaos? In this episode of the Thriveology Podcast, RELATED RESOURCES Covid Pandemic Series Dealing with Anxiety Depression Series Breathe Through My Books

My client was telling me about lots of struggles, difficult times, and a few positive moments.  I noted, as I have many times with many clients, "It sounds like your present is perfect." She went silent.  I was silent.  But I could see her processing and struggling with my words.  I sat quietly. She finally erupted: "Perfect?!? How can you say that?  After all the stuff I told you... how can you tell me that things are perfect?" I told her, "I didn't say great.  I didn't say it was how you wanted them to be.  Only that the present is perfect." In that moment, I could see her gears turning... but she still couldn't make sense of what I was saying. How can things feel upside-down and inside-out, and be perfect? "Perfect" does not mean preferred.  It means something is complete.  A perfectly cooked steak is complete. It is cooked to a certain level.  But also consider a "perfect storm," the perfect combination of  circumstances that mean the storm is more powerful than when those circumstances don't combin

I don't know about you, but I don't much enjoy feeling fear.  I'd rather it not be a part of my life. And yet, it is. Fear is part of our wiring, deep in our DNA and deep in the circuitry of our brains. It keeps us safe -- sometimes super-safe.  Which is the problem. There is a central life coaching question:  "Where do you want to be?"  (Few people seek out coaching because everything is great, they are happy, and life is where they want it to be.) The next question is "What keeps you from getting there?"  When I dig in with clients, that question often hits against external barriers.  Things the client can't change. But dig long enough and dig deep enough, and you hit fear.  Fear is what often keeps us from getting what we want in life, from getting the life we most deeply dream about. If fear is a fact of life (it is), then fear isn't really as much in our way as we let it be.  After all, other people (who also have fears) have made it. What breaks through the fear, to get us to the life we want? I

Six months.  That is how far we are into the pandemic... at least in the US.  Yes, I  know.  There were cases before then.  But March marks the start of the social effects of pandemic.  Lock down.  Restrictions.  Social distance.  Six months. And many people are feeling the effects!  I would go so far as to saying most, but plenty would contact me to tell me that they are not. If you are feeling the effects, I am speaking to you.  Do you find yourself just... listless?  Out of sorts?  Lost in things to do, but not getting them done? That feeling you are having is not a new one, just from the pandemic.  It dates back to the ancient Greeks.  It was an idea that Christian writers discussed as the distraction of monks and others.  In fact, it was a thought process Christian writers warned against, as it can spiral. And here we sit, 1/2 of a year into feeling the effects of a pandemic.  And many people are feeling just a bit... acedic.  The term for this feeling was Acedia.  That listless, not caring, ought-to

I'm not an athlete, I told myself.  I was the last chosen for teams pretty much every time.  And more often than not, admittedly, I dropped the ball or didn't run fast enough.  So I lived up to the low expectations of being a teammate. That kept me believing that I was not an athlete.  And so, I never tried to be athletic. Years later, when I was recovering from being sick, I decided I needed to get into shape.  I was motivated by a scuba class when I realized how out of shape I was.  I dragged myself into the weight room, so I wouldn't embarrass myself in class.  I took to the pool for the same reason. And I slowly got into shape.  Which led to a friend asking if I wanted to adventure race.  Why not?  I might as well, I reasoned.  Then, I trained and completed a trail marathon.  And ran quite a few 5k's.  Not an athlete, though. Then, at a conference, someone told me she wanted to write a book, but she "wasn't a writer."  I asked what she was doing.  She wrote every single day.  And she had lots of piece

Well, you are on to me!  Last week, I started talking about things you can do to guarantee that you DON'T thrive.  I'm sure you knew I didn't really want you to NOT thrive.  But I wanted to point out some ways people make themselves miserable... and what they might do to shift. If you missed that episode, JUST CLICK HERE TO HEAR IT. It is interesting to notice how we humans can really mess up our lives!  Life throws us enough to deal with.  Then, we tend to multiply it with our own blind spots and stuck points. With my Top 10 List To Guarantee You Don't Thrive, I wanted to point out 10 ways that people really do keep themselves stuck.  And the fact is, I see these same patterns repeated over and over by many people. So, if you see yourself in one (or more) of the stuck points, that just means you are... well... human.  Congratulations on being able to spot it!  That is the first step in doing something different... something new... something more... THRIVING! Listen in below for the REST of the ways you

Over the years, I have tried to learn to thrive.  And I have tried to teach others how to thrive... even getting other experts to do the same. But today, just for a moment, let's assume you DON'T want to thrive.  In fact, you want to... well, do the opposite of thriving!  You want to be miserable and live a smaller life.  You want to feel stuck and frustrated. (I'm not going to even explain WHY you would want to do that... let's play a little mental game and pretend you just don't want to thrive.) What then? How would you go about NOT thriving?  How would you really make yourself as miserable as possible? In this episode of the Thriveology Podcast, I start in on my Top 10 List of How NOT To Thrive.  I cover 5 top ways to NOT thrive in this episode, and follow up with the other 5 in the next episode. Why in the world would I do this? Because if you know how to NOT thrive, then you can NOT do the NOT's.  You can do the opposite, and move toward thriving.  It is also a good way to run through the list and

Wow!  What a time in history, right?  A pandemic rages.  Division is pulling us apart. Sometimes, it seems easier just to crawl under a rock and hide. But hiding isn't the solution.  And you have more to offer than hiding. You are built to engage the world, to make a difference. Then why do we  "play small"?  When  there should be more to life?  More for YOU to do in life?  More your life should be about? That life you are thinking about... that is the Engaged Life.  Living with more engagement, more depth, more meaning... more purpose. Over the years, this has been a fairly constant refrain from clients:  "There should be more to life than THIS."  There is.... Engaging in life.  Being engaged in life. Living a bit deeper... a bit wider. Over the years, 3 P's have emerged as the Path to living an engaged life.  Those 3 P's:  Passion, Purpose, and Presence. When you are focused on building those 3 areas, your Engaged Life builds. In this episode of the Thriveology Podcast, I cover the 3 P's of Living

One of my favorite authors and experts is Jack Canfield. He has my full respect.  My kids grew up with Chicken Soup For The Soul.  I "grew up" with The Success Principles, a book that gave me a plan to shift my mindset. Several years ago, I had the opportunity to interview Jack. It was such a great interview, I wanted to share it again. If you have already heard it, listen for something new. If you haven’t, it is a great opportunity to hear from Jack. Jack and I really got into some important topics.  We talked about being 100% responsible (one of his Principles), and what that means. One of my favorite principles is the equation, E + R = O (event + response = outcome).  We had a chance to discuss that equation in-depth.  This is a crucial formula for thriving in life. As we discussed fear, Jack talked about the fact that fear is NOT a stop sign.  It is simply a caution sign.  And then Jack discussed a way to even eliminate that fear (a slight movement away from the "feel the fear and do it anyway" id

Sometimes, it seems that any change in life has to be a 180° turn... starting or stopping something you were not doing or doing.  And sometimes, that is important.  You might stop smoking, start exercising, or make some other major shift in life. But in reality, more of growth in life is really about continued improvement.  This matches the Japanese idea of kaizen, or "change for the better."  This is the concept behind many manufactoring processes -- small incremental changes that amount to bigger cumulative improvement. That can apply to your life!  It probably already does, but can you make it more intentional?  For example, let's say I start exercising.  I go for a 20 minute run/walk.  That might be a 180° change -- I started doing something I wasn't doing.  But then what?  I would likely not just stay with that.  I might add more time, more distance, or maybe run for a higher percentage.  Gradual improvements that add up to more change. Which leads to this episode of the Thriveology Podcast.  I cover

Is worry robbing you of living?  Are you putting more energy into worry thoughts than you want to, leaving you less energy for where you want to spend your thoughts (and your life)? Most people do. Worry is an aimless attempt to locate threats and mitigate them.  Why aimless?  Because worry can shift from topic to topic, issue to issue, person to person, without action or direction. In the last Thriveology Podcast episode, I noted 6 truths about worrying. This was to provide a background understanding for taking action.  Action to reduce your worry.  Which, as promised, is the topic of this episode. I cover 7 strategies that will help you reduce your worry (and wasted worry energy) and let you make a mental shift to more helpful thoughts. If you worry, this episode is for you.  If you worry that you worry too much, this episode is definitely for you!  Tune in to learn how to reduce your worries -- and deal with worries as they pop up. RELATED RESOURCES 6 Truths about Worry How To Stress Less Dealing with

How much do you worry?  How often do you find yourself thinking about things that could go wrong?  Things that might happen to those you love?  Things that might happen to you? Worry is a common issue for people.  And sadly, worry robs us of living.  It costs us lots of energy, and exposes us to fears over possible events -- not actual events. When we worry, we focus on the future, what could happen.  Which draws us away from what is happening.  What is happening in this moment, in actuality. Unfortunately, for many, worry is a habit.  It happens almost automatically.  Worry robs people of sleep, of connection, and of presence.  Many people struggle to get to sleep, worried about what might happen.  Many people connect less, since they are worried about what might happen.  And people are less present, since they are focused on what might happen. There are some truths to worry that we need to understand, if we are going to turn down the "worry dial." These truths point to why people worry, why it is a wast

How are you sleeping?  If you are like the majority of Americans, at least one night a week, not well! And if you are like over 1/3rd of workers, you are not getting the recommended minimum of sleep.  Which is why more than 40% of people use some over-the-counter product to get to sleep (which does not include the number of people using a prescribed product for sleep). Research is pretty consistent:  adults need somewhere between 7 and 9 hours of nightly sleep in order to be healthy.  More than 9 can indicate a problem.  And less than 7 can lead to health problems like obesity, heart disease, high blood pressure, and even diabetes.  It also has a psychological toll. But if you are struggling with getting sleep, none of what I just wrote comes as a surprise... which is why you are trying to get the rest you need. In this week's Thriveology Podcast, I discuss 5 strategies for betting better sleep. Most are simple, but all are important, if you struggle to get the rest you need.  Listen below. RELATED RESOUR

Have you ever had the experience of a doctor telling you what was wrong with you, and even if you couldn't really do anything, it helped to know what it was?  Maybe it was just an ache or pain, a small illness.  Just having a name for it -- even some fancy latin term (or maybe especially some latin term) -- somehow makes it seem better.  Naming something helps us feel some control. This pandemic has stripped us of many feelings of control.  It more often feels like life is disrupted and dangerous.  Early in the pandemic -- but far enough in that it was clear we were headed down a long path -- I was wondering why it took me so long to process that we were in for a long-haul... with implications for every segment of life.  Why had I "missed" the signs? Denial.  That is what I realized.  I had been playing the denial game. Which reminded me that I was experiencing a grief response.  I was in grief!  From the pandemic.  Well, the pandemic losses and impact. Over the next few weeks, as I talked with individual

What a chaotic time we are in!  Even without a pandemic, it was already chaotic, what with politics and changes in society. Stir in a pandemic, and there is NO way to be calm. Right? Or maybe.... Maybe calm is not about what is happening around you, outside of you. Perhaps it comes from somewhere within you. Somewhere that knows you are separate from the external chaos. Our internal response to a chaotic world can be chaos... or we might be able to find calm. Especially if we can separate our thoughts from the events and emotions. If we can find a space between what is happening and how we respond.  A space that is rooted in peace. On this episode of the Thriveology Podcast, I have a chance to speak with David Dachinger and Tamara Green.  David is a firefighter and a Grammy nominated music composer (quite the contrast there!).  And Tamara is an author and licensed therapist. When David was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer (there IS no stage 5), his world shifted chaos from fighting fires to fighting cancer

  I was at a book signing a while back, signing a book of mine that is a few years old.  This person picked it up, looked at the publication date, put it down, and said, "I was looking for something more recent." That had me pondering... how long is information valid?  Sure, I would not likely want to read a computer book about the Windows 98 operating system, or about the coming "Y2K crisis."  But what about transformational information?  When does that lose value? Human brains have not changed in structure for millenia.  Which is why we still garner insight and understanding from books written millenia ago.  Ancient thoughts and texts still illuminate us these days. Which brings me to my guest this week on the Thriveology Podcast.  I asked Donald Robertson to talk with me about some pretty old thoughts.  No, Donald is not millenia old.  But the philosophy he espouses and teaches is.  Donald is a modern Stoic philosopher, drawing on ancient Stoicism and what it offers to us in our current world. And in

When I was a kid, I hit this point when I was growing fast.  So fast that my limbs hurt, I constantly tripped, and knocked everthing over as my hand got there before I expected.  Growth was a challenge. Generally, though, it works the other way.  When we are challenged (and take it on), we grow.  A child wants to crawl, then walk, then run.  But wanting to is not the same as being able to.  Crawling ends up being a bellyflop.  Walking leads to teetering bottom-bumps.  And running... well, that just leads to face-plants.  But so far, I have never seen a child give up and say, "Well, I just can't do that.  I guess I'm not meant to crawl/walk/run."  The child just tries again. Challenge is something we can rise to, expand into.  And when we do, challenge is the impetus for growth. In this episode of the Thriveology Podcast, I talk with Steve Sims.  At the age of 15, Steve finished his schooling in England, and stepped right into what seemed to be his destiny:  masonry.  Just like his father, his grandfather,

It happens about 25,000 per day.  And for the most part, it is automatic.  But it is one of the few bodily functions that you can "take off automatic" and choose how you will do it.  And you might not be doing it optimally. What is it? Breathing.  Taking a breath.  Inhaling and exhaling. I know, it seems automatic, right?  But you can choose to take a deep breath.  Or you can hold your breath.  You may breathe out of your nose.  Or you may breathe with your mouth (you may want to change that one... listen to the podcast for why). Breathing one way can stress you out.  Breathing another way will calm you down (meaning, you can choose which way you want to breathe!). Since you are currently reading this, we can assume you are breathing.  That's a great start?  How about breathing BETTER?  That is a process that can take you down lots of paths. On this episode of the Thriveology Podcast, I interview James Nestor.  A journalist and writer, James got interested in breathing from an ealier book, Deep, which f

It's highly contagious.  You can catch it from a single interaction with one person.  You can catch it much faster in a crowd.  You can pass it on to someone else in an instant. You can also catch it from just reading, watching, or listening to something. In 39 milliseconds, you have it... and you didn't even see it coming! Coronavirus?  Nope.  That is certainly serious, and you absolutely want to do everything you can to avoid catching or spreading it.  I do not want to minimize the risks of this pandemic. But that is not the contagion I am focusing on here. This contagion is fear and anxiety.  Yes, you can catch fear.  Yes, you can catch anxiety.  And you can also spread them. Humans have a natural wiring (we share it with the animals at the watering hole... and all the others) to pick up on fear and anxiety. Many times, people have said, "Should I panic over this?"  The "this" has been lots of different things.  And my answer is always, "Panic is never a better option.  Should you respond?  Should y