Tuff Love With Robert Kandell

Welcome to another episode of Tuff Love with Rob Kandell. The show today is about the concept of bending time—Rob’s version of time management. Morgan always asks how Rob gets so much done and it’s because of this bending time ability. When he did some research on the concept of bending time he found references to it being sort of a Buddhist meditative way, to do with time not being linear and linking it with Einstein’s theory of relativity.   Love the show? Subscribe, rate, review, and share! Here’s How » Join the Tuff Love Community today: robertkandell.com Tuff Love Facebook Tuff Love Instagram Tuff Love YouTube Tuff Love LinkedIn

Welcome back to Tuff Love with Rob Kandell. The guest today is the amazing Liz Dialto, author, speaker, teacher, mentor, podcaster, and she’s here to talk about courageous communication. Back in the day, Liz used to sell Cut Through Knives, and was brought up in this culture of community, working with people, sales and marketing, lots of sales stuff is rooted in personal development. When she left that industry she became a personal trainer and then a couple of years into that, she started noticing that without fail, any kind of mental, emotional, financial, relationship issue could come up and swiftly wipe out any results people had gotten with their diet and exercise. So she became fascinated with working IN as opposed to just working out, and how the two work together. Having received a lot of feedback over the years that she was intimidating, too masculine or that she needed to soften, Liz started studying femininity and feminine archetypes. She realized there are many archetypes and she embodies more o

Welcome back to Tuff Love, with your host, Rob Kandell. This is part 2 of Traveling? Me? Two weeks ago, Rob went on a trip with Morgan to Costa Rica. She was in a week long training, and Rob ended up with a week in Costa Rica by himself and he was nervous. It was out of his element, he was uncomfortable with the concept of travelling. The reason? Fear of the unknown. How often do we live in the fear of the unknown? For some travellers and gypsies, jumping into a new country without a plan is heaven. For control freaks like Rob, who like order and schedules and structures, a week by himself without a plan was scary. It was scary for Morgan in a way too because she was nervous that Rob would had a bad time.   Love the show? Subscribe, rate, review, and share! Here’s How » Join the Tuff Love Community today: robertkandell.com Tuff Love Facebook Tuff Love Instagram Tuff Love YouTube Tuff Love LinkedIn

Welcome back to Tuff Love with Rob Kandell. This show is about the concept of travelling, change and structure. 2016 was a really rough year for Rob, so 2017 is the year of being authentically who he is, fully. Rob is a pretty authentic guy but he’s learning how much more of him that wants to show up and come out. He doesn’t really know who that person is that wants to evolve. It’s exciting! He’s realized he has been living his entire life in other people’s shadows, and in a place where he didn’t feel comfortable being the front man. But that’s what 2017 is all about—look out world! Rob hasn’t done much travelling in his life. He spent a month in Israel between high school and college with an Israeli friend, on a Hemmingway kind of trip. They moved from town to town without really a goal, eating good food, chasing women and having an experience of finding themselves in friendship. That was 1988 and Rob hasn’t really done it since then. He planned to go to Europe after college, but it never eventuated and life

Welcome back to Tuff Love with Rob Kandell. The topic today is near and dear to Rob, and that is the concept of confronting money. Rob is a first born male, New York Jew which means money is a part of his life and culture. He’s had so many different experiences around this topic of money, and how to confront it, understand it and be aware of it. The main focus of what Rob helps people with is confronting money, which can be daunting for many people. Most people don’t want to confront it, they’re scared of it, they get overwhelmed. They think they can’t handle it or don’t know what to do, which is bullshit. We all have the ability to confront it and understand it and look at it. Turn the fear into power. That’s what the hero’s journey is all about!   Love the show? Subscribe, rate, review, and share! Here’s How » Join the Tuff Love Community today: robertkandell.com Tuff Love Facebook Tuff Love Instagram Tuff Love YouTube Tuff Love LinkedIn

Welcome back to Tuff Love with Rob Kandell. The official topic for this episode is around the concept of fish in the sea. But first, an update. Last week Rob’s Dad had a stroke and went to hospital. It’s been very emotional week and there were some very intense conversations. His Dad is much more stable now and getting back to the status quo. But things change when you face death for real. Death is always theoretical but when it comes down to it, it’s different, and Rob saw the change in his father. He faced his own mortality, his fighter came out and it was impressive to watch. So things are better. This topic of Fish in the Sea was inspired by a friend of Rob’s. She’s an attractive woman, and has been in an on-again-off-again relationship for years. At the moment, her partner is being distant again and Rob can feel inside her the fear of taking the step to migrate out of this relationship. On some level, this relationship has been her foundation and so there’s fear. Rob sees it a lot: people are scared to

Welcome back to Tuff Love with your host, Rob Kandell. In this episode, Rob is dealing with the emotion of his father being in the hospital. He had a small stroke the day before this episode was recorded. Rob’s Dad has been an ox in terms of his health for Rob’s whole life. He’s been solid and strong, and the first time he’s in hospital. You can prepare as much as you like but life still happens, that’s the beauty of it. This experience ties in to the topic of the show, which is self-love. Believe in yourself every single day. Every moment of your life is totally valuable and if you don’t treat every single moment as valuable, and just think ‘I’ll do it tomorrow’, that tomorrow may not come.   Love the show? Subscribe, rate, review, and share! Here’s How » Join the Tuff Love Community today: robertkandell.com Tuff Love Facebook Tuff Love Instagram Tuff Love YouTube Tuff Love LinkedIn

Welcome back to Tuff Love, with your host Rob Kandell. The topic is “One Unit of Fear” and comes from a conversation Rob had with a coaching client who felt overwhelmed by fear. Rob was helping him move through the fear and get back into life, the idea being that you could live ten units of life if you just move through one unit of fear. There is an excessive amount of fear going on in the world today, post US election. All over the world there is a new level of fear. People are talking about leaving the country now that Trump is President. There’s a lot of future planning and thoughts based on fears.   Love the show? Subscribe, rate, review, and share! Here’s How » Join the Tuff Love Community today: robertkandell.com Tuff Love Facebook Tuff Love Instagram Tuff Love YouTube Tuff Love LinkedIn

Welcome back to Tuff Love with your host, Rob Kandell. The topic today is around the concept of truth moment. Rob’s basic viewpoint is that we’re all a bunch of liars. The effect of that is that intimacy and connection decreases greatly because we’re not telling the truth. When we lie we present a part of ourselves that isn’t true. If we lie and someone accepts it, then they start to judge who we are, based on our lies, and then we know they’re judging us on the façade we’ve created, which means we trust them less. It’s about telling the truth and creating relationships and connections where your partner can receive the truth. Most people want to tell the truth, but the other person does a really shitty job of receiving it and punishes us for telling the truth. We’re in fear of repercussions from our partners for telling the truth, and we live in façade, people don’t connect and we live in a world where people don’t tell the truth. The concept of the truth moment is a new game. It’s a take off of a few othe

Welcome back to Tuff Love, with Rob Kandell. Tuff Love is an opportunity to see more, have more and be more. It’s also an opportunity to talk about the shit that matters. The topic today is around the concept of freedom. We all want freedom.   Love the show? Subscribe, rate, review, and share! Here’s How » Join the Tuff Love Community today: robertkandell.com Tuff Love Facebook Tuff Love Instagram Tuff Love YouTube Tuff Love LinkedIn

Welcome back to Tuff Love, with Rob Kandell. The guest today is Heather, who is part of the authentic relating community in Boulder, and very passionate about feminism and looking for a better world outside of patriarchy for everone. Bringing together these two worlds is incredibly important. She’s in a place of exploration about how men and women can relate to one another in a system that continually favors men and masculine energy over women and feminine energy, and how to honor everybody’s experience within that. How do we honor women who’ve been socially trained not to say no and not have boundaries, and honor men who have been taught to win, conquer and not take no for an answer? It’s an interesting exploration on how to relate and have options to show up in a way that creates intimacy and authenticity.   Love the show? Subscribe, rate, review, and share! Here’s How » Join the Tuff Love Community today: robertkandell.com Tuff Love Facebook Tuff Love Instagram Tuff Love YouTube Tu

Welcome back to Tuff Love, with Rob Kandell. The topic today is around levels of engagement, which is one of the core things Rob lives his life. He is constantly in this scale of levels of awareness. It’s important to be deliberate with how you engage with the world, with other people, with your romantic partners, with your job, with life. There are six basic levels of engagement, although in time there may be more as Rob has been exploring the concept with others. The six basic levels are: Avoidance, Non-confrontation, Curiosity, Inquiry, Educating and Attack.   Love the show? Subscribe, rate, review, and share! Here’s How » Join the Tuff Love Community today: robertkandell.com Tuff Love Facebook Tuff Love Instagram Tuff Love YouTube Tuff Love LinkedIn

Welcome back to Tuff Love with Rob Kandell. This week’s show is on the concept of over-apologizing and how it’s endemic and systemic in today’s society. We feel we must apologize to create a bridge or to avoid intimacy. It happens time and time again and it pisses Rob off. This show is about the motivations, thoughts, practices, places not to over apologize. Rob explores where to go underneath to find out what you truly want to say and the need to use deliberate language, like ‘thank you’ instead of ‘I’m sorry,’ or ‘I have a different viewpoint.’ How annoying is it when someone is apologizing and you don’t know what they’re apologizing for? They didn’t do anything wrong. Are they apologizing for being human? For not being human? For living life?   Love the show? Subscribe, rate, review, and share! Here’s How » Join the Tuff Love Community today: robertkandell.com Tuff Love Facebook Tuff Love Instagram Tuff Love YouTube Tuff Love LinkedIn

Welcome back to Tuff Love with Rob Kandell. The topic today is how to have a healthy break up and the guest star is Kelsey Grant, a love and relationship coach. Rob’s viewpoint on break ups are that they’re part of the natural cycle. There’s all this cultural bias around breaking up and how it’s bad and means that you didn’t succeed, however Rob thinks that’s a load of crap. This show is about how to transition from a relationship and gracefully move into the next scene. Kelsey is passionate about living in a world where people are inspired, fulfilled, balance and happy within the expansiveness of their intimate relationships. As a love and relationship educator rooted in radical self-love methodology, she writes, speaks, and teaches coaches, thought leaders and game-changers on how to access greater alignment with love for their leaderships to thrive. She is a founder and facilitator of a local sisterhood circle, and currently she is teaching A Year of Love, her flagship 12-month program that focuses on th

Welcome back to Tuff Love with Rob Kandell. The show today is around the topic of projection. It’s a very unconscious act. Wikipedia says, “psychological projection is a theory of psychology in which humans defend themselves against their own unconscious impulses or qualities ( both positive and negative) by denying their existence in themselves while attributing it to others.” There are parts of you that you don’t want to see inside of you and so you project them onto someone else. This happens all the time, it’s part of our human condition. It’s that part of the unconscious that’s the danger. One example from Wikipedia is a person who is habitually rude may constantly accuse others of being rude. This incorporates blame shifting. It’s taking the energy you see inside of yourself and putting it elsewhere, rather than looking at our own bullshit.   Love the show? Subscribe, rate, review, and share! Here’s How » Join the Tuff Love Community today: robertkandell.com Tuff Love Facebook

Welcome back to Tuff Love, with Rob Kandell. The topic for the show today is the concept of purpose. Purpose is something Rob has been examining on some level his entire life. He grew up normal, and did all the usual paths that you’re ‘supposed to do’ in this life. Then, at the age of 28, his life got etcha-sketched. Before the age of 28, his purpose was to follow the path laid out to him by society: get a good job, do social security planning, produce grandchildren and pay taxes. There were good times, Rob was very lucky in a lot of ways. However, he realized he was bored. It felt normal to be bored, which is what happens when you’re stuck in the status quo. His purpose was to be a good citizen.   Love the show? Subscribe, rate, review, and share! Here’s How » Join the Tuff Love Community today: robertkandell.com Tuff Love Facebook Tuff Love Instagram Tuff Love YouTube Tuff Love LinkedIn

Welcome back to Tuff Love, with Rob Kandell. This episode is about co-parenting, which is a concept near and dear to Rob’s life. These days Rob is co-parenting with Morgan and it’s been a journey of learning and growth. In this show Rob shares some of the back-story to this co-parenting and also what he’s learned through research about blended families.   Love the show? Subscribe, rate, review, and share! Here’s How » Join the Tuff Love Community today: robertkandell.com Tuff Love Facebook Tuff Love Instagram Tuff Love YouTube Tuff Love LinkedIn

Welcome back to Tuff Love, with Rob Kandell. This show is pretty intense, so be warned: if you don’t want your life to change, run and hide quick! The topic today is one of the most important things to talk about in Rob’s work: shame. This is something we all have to deal with on a constant basis, internally and externally, because we live in a culture that encourages shame. Shame is an endemic part of our society. Our society is one of disapproval and from that we have shame.   Love the show? Subscribe, rate, review, and share! Here’s How » Join the Tuff Love Community today: robertkandell.com Tuff Love Facebook Tuff Love Instagram Tuff Love YouTube Tuff Love LinkedIn

Welcome back to Tuff Love with Rob Kandell. The guest star on the show today is Ryan Thomas, who runs the podcast Modern Sex Talks. Rob was on that podcast and now Ryan is here to talk about the concept of sex in the modern age. How Ryan ended up teaching and running a podcast called Modern Sex Talks is a bit of a long story. His background is in the military, he was an Army Captain and he served in the Canadian Army for 11 years. In that environment, it’s not very emotionally intimate. For Ryan growing up, he didn’t get a lot of sex education, and learned a lot from pornography and the internet. As he got older, he started using sexuality as a way to build confidence, which led him down some very dark paths. He started to hate women, which isn’t a healthy place to be. He realized he was the only common denominator in all the problems he was experiencing in relationships. That wasn’t an easy thing to realize.   Love the show? Subscribe, rate, review, and share! Here’s How » Join the T

Welcome back to Tuff Love, with Rob Kandell. This show is very personal to Rob, and it’s about parental approval. He just spent the last weekend with his parents, in Marin County, north of San Francisco. He goes to visit whenever he can. Rob’s Mom is a big listener of the show, so even though he’ll be talking about her and knows she’ll be listening, they have an adult enough relationship where he can be real and honest on the show and it will translate. His Dad doesn’t listen to the show. A friend asked Rob recently what the key to success in a relationship is. He said, just tell the truth. That’s what Tuff Love is: being willing to tell the truth in a manner that is connective, not disassociating. Most people lie and withhold and don’t tell the truth. We don’t say the things that really hurt us and we’re not clear in our communication. From the truth, both parties have the option to have a better and more connective relationship. But if you don’t tell the truth, nothing happens.   Love the show? S