World's A Mess

EPISODE #52-- Alex and James are back on their BS today with stories about a security robot self-blade runnering, another Vatican orgy, a gold dude with no pants, and the mystery of the bike assassin of Google's campus. We also rap about how dumb Silicon Valley bros are. Special appearance by Monkey, the News Dog, and the Young Pope. Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art.  Our theme music is "The World's a Mess (It's In My Kiss)" by X. Thanks to our sources at CBS News, Crimefeed, CNN, and Vice (and see our Facebook page for more sources!). Please support real journalism. Subscribe to something today!#Walmart #Google #SOE #Bikes #Bananas #YoungPope #Vatican #Hannibal #Robots #Cyborgs

EPISODE #51-- News isn't always fun, especially when it involves Earth's favorite would-be mermaid. Beyond that Alex and James report on a couple in Batman couple being shot by the police, "slime eels," more bad news about dumb drug dealers, and NASA V. THE MARTIANS. Are you man/woman/nonbinary/agender/other enough to handle it? Of course you are! We believe in you! Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art.  Our theme music is "The World's a Mess (It's In My Kiss)" by X. Thanks to our sources at New York Post, CBS News, and Vice (and see our Facebook page for more sources!). Please support real journalism. Subscribe to something today!#Coke #Drugs #WarOnDrugs #WarOnSesameStreet #NASA #Kooks #Characters #Snooty #SeacowNews

EPISODE #50-- Don't expect anything special for our Silver Anniversary show, because we consider every episode to be special. Also, we forgot and didn't plan ahead. Anyways, today we get into it about an unfortunately named donor of, uh, genetic material, some escaped pigs, and a follow up on the Fyre Festival. We also get into it about Amber Alerts, dumb late-stage capitalism, and the pod dog. Also, CORRECTION: The lawyer I talk about at the end of the episode is not Alan Dershowitz. I am thinking about William Kunstler. Totally different people. Plus, Alex's Music Corner! Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art.  Our theme music is "The World's a Mess (It's In My Kiss)" by X. Thanks to our sources at New York Post, CBS News, and Vice (and see our Facebook page for more sources!). Please support real journalism. Subscribe to something today! #Pigs #Swines #FyreFestival #NightGuard #WilliamKunstler #TheLaw #HJonBenjamin #News

EPISODE #49-- We're back again this week, bringing you the news that you crave. Today we talk about Hobby Lobby getting caught with its hand in the crypt, selling pancake mix instead of coke, grandma grounding a jet, and the return of Canuck the Crow! We also get into it about Pomona, the origin of drugs in America, the stupidity and the malice of the prison-industrial complex, and when is it okay to make fun of other cultures (probably never, but if you do, make sure that you're consistent about it). Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art.  Our theme music is "The World's a Mess (It's In My Kiss)" by X. Thanks to our sources at BBC, DOJ, Munchies, Vice, and SCPM (and see our Facebook page for more sources!). Please support real journalism. Subscribe to something today! #Canada #China #BirdLaw #Crows #13thAmendment #Birbs #WarOnDrugs #IsAJoke #Pomona #WeDontKnowAnything

EPISODE #48-- Despite this powerful heat, Alex and James soldier on to bring you the news. On today's episode they deal with engine-eating varmints, raccoon involved shootings, roman candle fights gone wrong, and dudes smashing stuff for freedom.Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art.  Our theme music is "The World's a Mess (It's In My Kiss)" by X. Thanks to our sources at Westways, AAA, KOMO, King 5, and Arkansas Online (and see our Facebook page for more sources!). Please support real journalism. Subscribe to something today! #10Commandments #Freedom #Raccoon #MintJelup #Monkey #ClayHigginsIsAPig

EPISODE #47-- Besides ragging on Boston, James and Alex also get into it about a number of other Vital and Important news stories. Those stories include hate crimes against man-animal buskers, a stolen mummy toe, a bunch of creepy Nazi collectibles, and a coke den/daycare center. It's wild out there. Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art.  Our theme music is "The World's a Mess (It's In My Kiss)" by X. Thanks to our sources at Vice, the Los Angeles Times, the New York Times, and the Vancouver Sun (and see our Facebook page for more sources!). Please support real journalism. Subscribe to something today! #Argentina #Argentinia #Cops #Nazis #HitlersGold #MrHamster #Boston

EPISODE #46-- Today on the show Alex and James get into it about scammers making movies, North Koreans on their North Korean grind, more criminal avocado news, and the current status of witchcraft and dueling in the great state of Canada. We also get into it about messing your pants, California's worst small cities, and the aftermath of commemorating the Armenian Genocide. Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art.  Our theme music is "The World's a Mess (It's In My Kiss)" by X. Thanks to our sources at Vice and the Los Angeles Times (and see our Facebook page for more sources!). Please support real journalism. Subscribe to something today! #NorthKorea #Malaysia #Avocados #Crime #Basquiat #DaddysHome2

EPISODE #45-- James and Alex start with a harrowing account of driving gone wrong, and then get into the real news: The News. On today's episode they rap about a Mormon cultist brought to justice, a man's flaming underoos, and an avocado. . . WITH A BULLET! They also talk about how creepy religious cloisters are (and listen to James fail to name exactly which one that he's talking about), what's the matter with cops today, and the works of Abe Vigoda. They also cut out a story about that Millwall guy, because apparently he's, surprise, surprise, a racist jerk. Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art.  Our theme music is "The World's a Mess (It's In My Kiss)" by X. Thanks to our sources at Vice, WMUR, and Munchies (and see our Facebook page for more sources!). Please support real journalism. Subscribe to something today!

EPISODE #44-- Hey. Sup. How you doing? You doing great? Anyways, we back and we're excited. Today we have stories about how racism doesn't pay when you go to Harvard, goose droppings at the happiest place on earth TM, highway soda robbery, and a bear playing the piano. It's a light one. We also talk about more bad cops, the Manson Family, and how drugs are bad It's fun. Get it going. Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art.  Our theme music is "The World's a Mess (It's In My Kiss)" by X. Thanks to our sources at Motherboard, Vice, LA Times, Fox News, and Fox 29. Please support real journalism. #McDonalds #Disneyland #BirdNews #Racism#CharlesManson #PandasSuck

EPISODE #43-- We get into it in a family-friendly way this week. Nothing an advertising algorithm can object to. Today Alex and James get into it about bros making an alligator chug, a bad idea for murder in Africa, a singing criminal, and unsolicited cocaine for pennies on the dollar. They also talk about why America sucks, why birds suck, and why bringing back movies from thirty years ago also sucks. Everything sucks. Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art.  Our theme music is "The World's a Mess (It's In My Kiss)" by X. Thanks to our sources at Munchies, LA Times, BBC, WMUR, and Vice. Please support real journalism. #SouthCarolina #GoAggies #Tarheels #Whatever #Gators #Crocs #Drinking #DoinDrugs

EPISODE #42-- We're bouncing around a lot on this episode. We go from a peacock in Arcadia messing up some booze, an assassination attempt in Ukraine, what holes not to put wasp nests into, and a brave football hooligan standing up to international terrorism. We also get into it about bird law, more of California's Gold, and the LA Riots. Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art.  Our theme music is "The World's a Mess (It's In My Kiss)" by X. Thanks to our sources at the Pasadena Star News, New York Times, Le Monde, AV Club, and the Independent. Please support real journalism. #LAisBurning #Assassinations #Terrorism #Birds #Bees #TrueLove #Katana

EPISODE #41-- We're back! As always, we bring nothing but the hottest news items for you, our dearest newshounds. Today Alex and James tackle a Joker attack in Florida, stolen beehives in California, Swedish intercourse breaks, and a man trying to assassinate the best Power Ranger. We also have James explaining a video, Alex going over his phobias of My Buddy, as well as our pitch for a sexy Funky Winkerbean. Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art.  Our theme music is "The World's a Mess (It's In My Kiss)" by X. Thanks to our sources at Associated Press, LA Times, Boing Boing, NY Post, Crime Feed, and Lauderdale Criminal Defense Dot Com. Please support real journalism. #Fresno #Bees #RickSantorum #WuTang #Florida #OtherJunk #Gunpla

EPISODE #40-- James and Alex return with an episode that is actually audible! It's exciting! Today on World's a Mess we discuss Russian Orthodox wizards blessing computers, Mormon statue heists, the case of Truck V. Bunny Ranch, and the "Big Penis Defense." Let's see if the filters pick that one up. We also chat about Huell Howser, local insect culture, what Trump acolyte matches what GI Joe villain, and what makes serial killers just so darn attractive? Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art.  Our theme music is "The World's a Mess (It's In My Kiss)" by X. Thanks to our sources at Associated Press, LA Times, Boing Boing, NY Post, Crime Feed, and Lauderdale Criminal Defense Dot Com. Please support real journalism. #Florida #Brothel #PBS #HuellHowser #CraneFlies #Nightstalker #BenMendo

EPISODE #39-- I'm not going to lie to you: This is the worst episode that we've ever recorded. Not because of content, but because of the technical side of this. We don't know what we're doing. Some good stories, though, such as: Sean Spicer getting left at home, a Florida man trying to neck a rattlesnake, a truck plowing into an unfortunately named company, Neil Armstrong's stolen moon bag, and the clowns-- They're back and they're out for blood. We talk about other stuff. Allegedly. I can barely hear most of this episode. Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art. Thanks to Andy Kneis for our them "Sean Spicer Road." Our theme music is "The World's a Mess (It's In My Kiss)" by X. Thanks to our sources at AV Club, CNN, Associated Press, NY Daily News, Vice, and Denver ABC7. Please support real journalism. #FloridaMan #OnThatDust #AnalTech #VisionBoard #TheSecret #FLCL #VespaLife #AudioIssues

EPISODE #38-- Alex and James fail to get their schedule together once more, but like the less than entirely punctual phoenix, we have risen from the ashes! Today we rap about wild boars attacking ISIS, how British people can't handle avocados, a teacher making meth, and a controversial program in India to stop domestic abuse that will probably just make it worse. We also rap about U2, Dan Fogler, griefing teens in Red Dead Redemption, and weddings. Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art. Our theme music is "The World's a Mess (It's In My Kiss)" by X. Thanks to our sources at AFP News Agency, BBC, Vice, The Times, Munchies, and USA Today. Please support real journalism. #WarOnTerror #HeroPigs #ISIL #Daesh #India #BreakingBad #FleetwoodMac #AudioIssues

EPISODE #37-- Neither rain, nor shine, nor audio issues will stop us from bringing the news. Or the mail. Whatever. Today Alex and James get into it about a junkie that called the cops on himself, stealing college exams, Trump's finger on the button, and Steve Seagal's exile from Ukraine. They also get into it about cops V. firefighters, memories of the Penny Arcade forums, Riverdale, and the works of Rilo Kiley. It's a good one. Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art. Our theme music is "The World's a Mess (It's In My Kiss)" by X. Thanks to our sources at LA Times, NY Times, Vice, Tonic, and the Guardian. Please support real journalism. #heists #StevenSeagal #Ukraine #USSR #SocialEntropy #InfoWars #Heroin #RidingTheDragon

EPISODE #36-- After a brief and embarassing delay, James and Alex are back and better than ever! Today they discuss knife crime at IHOP's, a Denny's brawl, a cat hoarder in Cascadia, and Indian super-babies. They also go on about CRISPR genetic engineering, bashing up technology, airplane brawls, and what is the best bagel. Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art. Our theme music is "The World's a Mess (It's In My Kiss)" by X. Thanks to our sources at BBC, Washington Post, Associated Press, Confessions of a Funeral Director, LA Times, Daily Herald, NY Daily News, and National Geographic. Please support real journalism.

EPISODE #35-- Thanks for sticking with us! Today Alex and James get back into it with what the know best-- Drunk Australian rappers skipping out on bills, snakes in South Africa, thieves making fried chicken, and rotting bats at Wal-Mart. They also rap about possums, the Golden State Killer, and Alex's New Segment: Grinding My Gears. Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art. Our theme music is "The World's a Mess (It's In My Kiss)" by X. Thanks to our sources at BBC, The Sun, Vice Munchies, Washington Post. Please support real journalism.

EPISODE #34-- Alex and James brave the nasally depths of the spring allergy season to bring you hot scoops, fresh off the press. Today they get into it about Amish teens having too much of a good time, a bad cellphone thief, hacked tornado warning sirens in Dalls, and a UKIP MP selling poison. They also get into it about Barney Fife, supplements, and how maybe people should just maybe treat people on the Autism spectrum with some dignity. Also, an unexpected departure from News Tower 6. CORRECTION: David Suchet played Poirot. Who the heck is David York? Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art. Our theme music is "The World's a Mess (It's In My Kiss)" by X. Thanks to our sources at Fox 43, LA Times, Washington Post, and Buzzfeed. Please support real journalism. 

EPISODE #33-- Cruz Flores joins the news boys at News Tower seven with some hot scoops about children driving to McDonald's, Laos-bound semen smugglers, Alex "Lizard Man" Jones' custody battle, and techno-prisoners Shawshanking together their own computer system. They also rap about Bernie Madoff, the insanity of Sebastian Gorka, and the wisdom of the Beastie Boys. Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art. Our theme music is "The World's a Mess (It's In My Kiss)" by X. Thanks to our sources at WFMJ, Bangkok Post, Buzzfeed, Ars Technica, and Cafe. Please support real journalism.