Over It And On With It

This episode is about never feeling good enough and always looking for what could go wrong. Today’s caller, Dana, didn’t have her needs met as a child and built a protective pattern to help her cope with her abandonment wound. We work through ways to calm her nervous system and feel safe when asking for what she needs.   [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode356]   Whether or not you grew up in a house where you felt like your needs were not met, all of us can relate to feeling not good enough, or the feeling that things in our lives are not good enough. Or, we can be either incredibly critical of ourselves or other people. We get ourselves into a vicious cycle.   When we have unmet needs, especially if we were raised in a way where we couldn’t have an outburst, had to be the good kid, or had to keep it together, it caused us to keep stuff inside. Those of us who had to withhold a lot as children can be mean to people internally but when it comes to saying something externally, we cower.   Whe

Guest on Getting Unstuck with Jillian Michaels

This episode is about opening our hearts by diving deep into our grief. Today’s caller, Sarah, lost her father unexpectedly. It was not the way she planned to go through the transition. She is moving through grief and feels resistance to grief. We talk about how she can receive more support and know that she doesn’t have to do it on her own.   [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode355]   The reality that our parents will die is something we all know. But, as it gets closer it is difficult to deal with. Whenever we have a looming feeling that something is close, we grasp onto anything that makes us feel like we have some sense of control.   We all have our coping strategies to bypass our feelings. Going into our feelings can make us feel out of control. How do we feel more in control? We control. This is a strategy that is rewarded because when we control things we are seen as productive, and efficient. But we don’t give ourselves the grace to fall apart and we need to fall apart sometimes. Oft

Dr. Judith Orloff is a New York Times bestselling author, psychiatrist and is on the UCLA psychiatric clinical faculty. Dr. Orloff specializes in treating empaths and sensitive people in her Los Angeles based private practice. Judith Orloff MD asserts that we are keepers of an innate intuitive intelligence so perceptive that it can tell us how to heal — and prevent — illness. Yet intuition and spirituality are the very aspects of our wisdom usually disenfranchised from traditional health care. Dr. Orloff’s latest book “The Empath’s Survival Guide: Life Strategies for Sensitive People” (Sounds True, 2017) is an invaluable resource to help sensitive people of all kinds develop healthy coping mechanisms in our high-stimulus world without experiencing compassion fatigue or burnout. Empaths can then fully embody their gifts of intuition, creativity, and compassion. Dr. Orloff’s work has been featured all over the world in various media outlets.  You can learn more about at www.drjudithorloff.com.

This episode is about how to get over heartbreak and open ourselves up to love again. Today’s caller, Gabriella, went through a recent breakup and wants guidance on how she can trust herself to not have her heart broken again. We never want to enter any situation hoping that what happened in the past doesn’t happen again. We discuss ways she can release her fears and open up to love to have a tender experience.   [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode354]   When we have a heartbreak, we tend to look at how we can prevent it in the future, but that is a limiting way to look at it. Instead, we can consider how we can leverage the heartbreak and heartache to open our hearts up even more.   After a breakup, ask yourself proactive questions such as:   What did you learn from the relationship? Who do you want to be, in a relationship? What do you need in a relationship? What are the red flags you may have overlooked?  How did you show up in the relationship that you don't want to duplicate?  What v

The heart of this coaching session is about self-compassion. Steve has been in his masculine and repressing his pain for much of his life. Another level of his pain is surfacing and that’s because his unconscious knows he is ready to deal with it. If you are at a point in your life where you feel like you have done a lot of personal growth work but pain is resurfacing in your life you do not want to miss this episode. It takes a lot of energy to repress pain. And, that’s why it feels hard to move forward in our lives, it feels hard to get a career off the ground, or to connect in relationships because we are unconsciously suppressing a lot of pain. Pain wants to come up and out. Our bodies don’t want to hold terrible memories or trauma inside. Our unconscious mind wants to let it go. So, it continues to make us feel uncomfortable until we deal with it. Not just mentally, but emotionally as well. It may be difficult to go back and to feel the pain of your childhood but you are feeling it anyway, 24/7 — it is j

This episode is about understanding why we have uncertainty when making decisions. Today’s caller, Kathy, wants to know how to make a decision about something important to her. She is hesitating and feels that it has been a pattern throughout her life. We discuss what in her past may have caused her hesitancy and how to clear the blocks she has around making decisions.   [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode353]   When we feel we don't know what to do, or we don’t feel like making a decision at the moment, it actually is a decision. Oftentimes, we beat ourselves up when we feel we should decide something and we become frustrated that we can’t decide. Our pause, and the not knowing, is the window of time we need to get clarity.   Many of us agonize over making a decision about whether it will be right or wrong. We may feel panic when a certain subject comes up. And, when panic comes up, it is often because of that unspoken fear.   But, whenever we have trouble making decisions it usually means

This episode is about being your authentic self and speaking your truth. I coach today’s caller, Judy, through her feelings of isolation, and empower her to have an honest conversation with her husband, and herself, about her needs. Loneliness is an epidemic, especially in this day and age when so many of us live alone. We are not close to our family geographically, or we don’t have a soul family or community to be a part of. We need a healing connection. We need to feel part of something, part of a tribe. We need to feel connected to ourselves. What often perpetuates a feeling of loneliness is a disconnection to ourselves that comes from judging ourselves and being hard on ourselves. If you suffer from loneliness or a lack of self-esteem you are not alone. Let the fact that you are not alone motivate you to gain confidence and to connect with a community. Speaking your truth is when you say what’s true for you, and you are able to communicate your needs. When are you not speaking your truth? Many of us think

This episode is about embodying the personal development work we do. Today’s caller, Dominique, would like to have a relationship with her sister. There is a lot of family history and many things have happened between them. She wants a closer relationship but her sister is not doing the work. We discuss ways she can not take things personally and how she can be the change she wants to see.   [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode352]   When we are learning about ourselves and digging up old wounds, going back to the source is intense. Everything can feel amplified and we tend to be more sensitive to triggers, especially around our family. Personal development is not an overnight process and we need to look at triggers as opportunities for growth.   When we constantly want people to be different, we are constantly disappointed and triggered. We waste time and energy that we could be spending doing our own work. We create the possibility of people being different when we are different. When we a

Guest on The Optimal Body Podcast: Calling in the One with Christine Hassler

This episode is about taking the pressure off of a decision. Today’s callers, Demi and James, have different religions but both value faith. They have both drawn in someone who challenges their rigidity in their belief systems. They would like guidance on whether or not their differences can be overcome. We work through that it is possible to understand another person’s belief system without making it wrong and that we can believe different things and still love each other.   [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode351]   The purpose of a relationship isn’t to get married at a certain time or to have a certain number of kids. Remember, everything in life is for our growth and evolution and to move us out of judgment and fear and more into love.   In relationships, we are not always going to agree. It’s important that we have differences in relationships because we don’t want to marry ourselves. But, our differences can’t be extreme. We can differ in personality and preferences. For example, we d

If you ever struggle with anxiety, worry or even depression, do NOT miss this episode.  One of the leading voices in personal development and transformation and an international bestselling author Mel Robbins joins Christine and gives a TON of soothing and practical advice for creating more calm in your life. Mel's work includes the global phenomenon The 5 Second Rule, the upcoming The High 5 Habit, four #1 bestselling audiobooks, the #1 podcast on Audible, as well as signature online courses that have changed the lives of more than half a million students worldwide.  Her groundbreaking work on behavior change has been translated into 36 languages and is used by healthcare professionals, veterans’ organizations, and the world’s leading brands to inspire people to be more confident, effective, and fulfilled. As one of the most widely booked and followed public speakers in the world, Mel coaches more than 60 million people online every month and videos featuring her work have more than a billion views online

This episode is about step-parenting from a healed place. Today’s caller, Kendra, has two step-children who are triggering her anxiety. She then feels guilt and shame about being angry. We work through her past issues that are coming up to be healed and how she can navigate the situation in a way that is beneficial to her and her step-children.   [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode350]   Anxiety is not bad. It is an alarm system that is alerting us to something we are not paying attention to. There is something we are repressing or that needs our awareness. The energy of anxiety is frenetic energy. It is when the nervous system is hyper-aroused due to a trauma, a past memory is being activated or, we are repressing such big emotions our nervous system is overloaded. When that happens we likely go into fight, flight, or freeze.   When we are in survival brain, all the personal development tools we've learned aren't accessible. So, don't beat yourself up if you have done a lot of work but sti

Let’s talk about finding the “one”. You know the magical person who is your soulmate, your other half, the one who completes you. I say these things with a tinge of sarcasm but I don’t inject the sarcasm because I am jaded or don’t believe in love, it’s there because of the misunderstandings regarding soulmates and the pain many of us go through when it comes to romantic relationships. I believe there are lots of “ones” out there for us. My definition of a soulmate is someone who helps our soul to grow. Sometimes it’s through a gut-wrenching break-up, sometimes it’s through dating someone who triggers us and sometimes it’s through someone who just comes in, loves us and holds up a beautiful mirror to  remind us of who we truly are.  Soulmates can be romantic partners, friends, colleagues and even someone you share a plane ride with once and never see again.   So, why are many romantic relationships so painful? 1. The relationships are mirrors which can trigger unresolved issues from our childhood. 2. We often

This emotional episode is a great example of getting stuck in our story. Today’s caller, Aurora, has had to overcome an incredible past. She has been through many challenges, and feels enough is enough. She wants her life to change. But as you will hear, she is still committed to the story. We discuss ways she can take her power back and shift out of victim.   [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode349]   Our minds have a way of not allowing new information or tools in so we can integrate them. There is resistance to change because we all have a comfort zone with our suffering. As much as we think we want to change, do we truly want to? Holding on to trauma comforts us because it is familiar.   And, if we try to tackle all of our trauma at once or solve everything that ails us at once, it will feel overwhelming. When we sit up in an open body position it tells our subconscious mind and our nervous system we are safe. Anytime we are hunched over, crossed-legged, or protecting our heart, solar pl

This episode is about moving into acceptance and forgiveness. Today’s caller, Jen, is having a hard time getting to forgiveness because she doesn't believe her parents did the best they could. Her grudge may be costing her the very thing she longs for the most. [For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode94] One of the ways we get to forgiveness is knowing people did the best they could, even if we believe they could have done better. Knowing they did the best they could with the tools they had is one of the ways we can get to forgiveness. It can be difficult, especially when it was a parent or a loved one. Holding on to anger, blame, and resentment is toxic. It will eat you up inside and keep you from what you want. Continuing to use the past as a scapegoat for why you don’t have want you want gives your past power. Until you move into acceptance and forgiveness, your past will infiltrate every aspect of your present and your future. Look at the places where you are not letting love into your life.

This emotional episode is about getting to the root of anger to be able to release it. Today’s caller, Rose, has a deep-seated rage she directs toward her sister. But as we work through in the coaching call, she chose her sister, who poses less of a threat, to release her rage upon instead of the real person she is enraged with, her father.   [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode348]   Whenever our reaction doesn’t match with the circumstance, it means there is something else going on. Oftentimes, we have rage or anger just by being a human being on the planet, and we direct it at certain people or we become obsessive about certain people.   The thing about anger is that it needs an exit route. It is a huge energetic wave and it needs a way to get out. Anger can leak out as irritability, addiction, aggression at other people or just being angry at ourselves. We spend so much energy keeping anger inside that we can get depressed or we might just direct it at someone who is an easy scapegoat bu

Inner Child

This episode is about patience and becoming a loving partner to ourselves so we are ready to call in our soul match. Today’s caller, Asma, is ready to call in a partner but may have some work to do around building faith and trust based on her inner child’s wounding. Even if you are not looking for your person, you will get value from the conversations about patience, trust, and relationships.   [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode347]   It’s easy to believe in the magic of the universe when everything is going our way. It’s harder when we are scared or things aren’t going along with our plan. So many of our core trust issues come from our childhood. They come from the survival skills we adopted. That is where trust wounds begin.   Surrender invites the masculine in because it is fiercely brave. It is a deep level of trust in our intuition, a higher power, and in life because we relinquish control. It creates receptivity and an entry point for the masculine. Most healthy masculine men don’t l