Like A Mother

  In this episode I interview New York City divorce attorney Morghan Richardson, who comments on the recent state senate ruling which DRAMATICALLY slashes the income cap used for calculating alimony payments from $543,000 to $175,000 -- plus factors in child support into the calculations. Bottom line: Rich, lesser-earning spouses -- nearly always wives -- of rich men in New York can no longer expect big, fat alimony checks. Judges -- especially female judges, Richardson observes -- are telling stay-at-home moms to get jobs. "They have very little sympathy for people who are not learning in," says Richardson. "Women on the bench worked extremely hard to get there, and they have less sympathy for somebody focused only on family life." I also interview Dana Lim, a California mom of two who turned down significant alimony and child support when she divorced -- even though she;d been a stay-at-home mom and had little earning potential at first. Things were so dire she couldn't afford to eat some days. But today Li

Tiffany "The Budgetnista" Aliche was really really ticked off that the financial industry ignored people of color -- especially women. She looked around and saw countless brilliant, successful doctors, lawyers, architects and MBAs -- who were in debt and with little financial literacy or foundation.  Aliche set out to change that. Within a single year, Aliche recruited nearly 20,000 women of color into her Live Richer Challenge, a free program and community that helps members take control of their finances. To date, the challenge, participants collectively paid off $400,000 in debt and saved $3.5 million -- and Alliche's message and followers are snowballing. Best yet? Despite her proven power, financial services companies mostly still ignored her, so Aliche found a way to take those companies out of the equation while growing her following. She estimates 500,000 women of color will be part of her financial empowerment revolution within the next couple of years. And when banks come knocking? She will carefull

In this episode, Emma interviews Tinder co-founder and feminist dating app, Bumble, creator Whitney Wolfe, age 26, whose insights on dating have me floored. For example, she confirms my hunch that men age 40 are ripe for the picking -- they're accomplished and ready for a cozy relationship. Listen up, ladies!    Also, Emma helps follower Lisa, in Phoenix, navigate dating after a long marriage, including the ins and outs of online flirtations.    And Emma and her BmomFF Betsy kvetch about how hang out all the time, yet rarely talk about our kids. Because kinds are boring. 

Patti Stanger is star and executive producer of Bravo's The Millionaire Matchmaker, and CEO of matchmaking service Millionaire’s Club has spent eight years on cable helping the rich and often famous find a love connection -- all while sharing with America her own journey of balancing a search for love with a successful career as an entrepreneur.Emma interviews the lifelong entrepreneur, who recently launched the audio coaching program, "The Single Girls' Handbook," and her wine, P.S. Match, and is author of four books, including Become Your Own Matchmaker. The conversation includes Patti’s abortion at age 26, why college women should freeze their eggs, how to get your man to help around the house, and her estimation of how Hillary has learned to be Bill’s beta. Emma’s No. 1 question? How can successful women find love.

In this episode, Emma interviews entrepreneur and feminist activist Miki Agrawal. The Canadian born former professional soccer player told Emma: "If I can own the vagina and butthole, I win." She's talking about her current endeavors, which include CEO and co-founder of THINX, pretty panties for "women with periods" replacing the need for pads and tampons. This reusable product aims to disrupt the global feminine hygiene market and save trees and landfills globally. Offshoots include Icon, for female incontinence, and a boyshort style, marketed to the female-to-male transgendered community. Miki is also creator of Tushy, a bidet product that retrofits on a typical toilet. Every one of Miki's ventures challenge the status quo regarding body, gender and sexuality. Previous ventures include creator of WILD, a New York City farm-to-table, gluten-free pizza restaurant that she also brought to Las Vegas with Zappos founder Tony Hseih. Miki wrote the No. 1 bestseller How to Do Cool Sh*T, and was recipient of the 201

What the hell is going on? Since 1965, labor-force rates for women with kids under 18 have risen from 45 percent to 78 percent, and today’s mothers—both working and stay-at-home at tlike—spend more than 14 hours a week in 2010, up from just 10 hours a week in 1965. Despite spending all this time with our monkeys, 51 percent of working moms say they feel guilty about not spending enough time with their kids!      All this working-mom guilt keeps us back professionally, leading to dropping out of the work force, failing to go for promotions and higher-paying work so we can spend even more hours on children. Children, it must be noted, do not need all the hours we're currently devoting to them.  Psychologist Dr. Madeline Levine recently claimed that children of over-involved parents are three times more likely to suffer from depression and anxiety, and David Code, wrote in his book To Raise Happy Kids, Put Your Marriage First.   Families centred on children create anxious, exhausted parents and demanding, entitl

With the exception of abuse, divorce is a luxury.  I was acutely aware of this over the past six or so months when my ex and I were getting along really well. We were solid co-parents and I remembered how much we have in common as people. I appreciated how hard it can be for kids to shuttle between two homes. I also appreciated how it was thanks to sufficient funds -- no matter how tight they could be -- that afforded us the luxury of living separately.  While I had no interest in re-connecting romatically, I sometime wondered if it was worth inflicting all the stress of on the kids to live apart. Sometimes I understood why people go Euro -- maintain long-term marriages while pursuing romantic interests separately.  I'm not the only one to think this -- there has been plenty written about the fact that divorce rates correlate inversely with unemployment rates. In other words, for every 1 percent uptick in unemployment, divorce rates dip 1 percent. The poorer they are, the more they are willing to put up with

In this episode of Like a Mother with Emma Johnson I share some thoughts about how you are always ON. If you are dating a dad, want to have children with him one day, and really resent spending time with his kids -- don't be surprised when he stalls on committing to you. You've let him know what kind of mother you'll be, even if you pay lip service to behavior to the contrary.  This episode's caller is a remarkable mom who wants to answer her curious 11-year-old daughter's questions about homosexuality. Kids at school are pairing up in same-sex couples, and the girl's beloved uncle is gay and married to a man. The caller is cool with gay people but does not support gay marriage. She wants to address her daughter's questions, and also wants the girl to make up her own mind on politics -- not automatically assume her mom's stance. I love her for her genuine intent to do right by her kid while standing true to her own beliefs. Have a listen - I found this to be both an intellectually fascinating topic, but also

i was THRILLED to read a recent Psychology Today article referencing recent research that found that moms are actually spending TOO much time with their kids, so much so that it is a detriment to their development. Meanwhile, INCOME is the biggest indicator of a child's academic and financial success in life.  If that isn't great news for working moms -- especially single moms, who do statistically spend less time with their children than our married counterparts -- I don't know what is.  In this episode I elaborate on how there is so little societal support for working moms-- even though most of us NEED or WANT to work!  Also: Stacey calls in, asking for advice on how to make sure her 31-year-old son is cared for long-term. Stacey has faced a lot -- not only is her adult child disabled, her fiance died unexpectedly five years ago. But Stacey is suffering a case of the poor-mes. When she kept repeating, "No one understands how hard it is to have a disabled child" I let her know that I really felt for her. I h

Did you vote for Like a Mother with Emma Johnson on GoBankingRate's "Money on the Air" contest? I'm up against giants like Freakonomics, Pat Flynn and Rich Dad. Pretty cool! Please vote here!   Last summer I was having a really hard time with my kids -- mornings were hell, they didn't seem to listen, I felt like they weren't getting what they needed to me. Over an early dinner at a local bistro with a good (childless) friend who knows my family well, I spilled my guts.  Whether out of blind friendship or strategic therapy, she told me what I wanted to hear: You are an awesome mom. Your children are lucky to have you. You're doing a great job.  I listened, even if I didn't really believe her. But something shifted. Because when we finished supper we walked a few blocks to buy some frozen yogurt and ran into my ex and the kids on the street. It was awkward for obvious reasons -- the kids were confused and a little upset. But it was even more so because it was 8:30, and they were still dressed and coming home fr

  Do you find yourself constantly blaming others for your hurt? Are you so angry at others that you just can't let it go? When something goes wrong, do you think someone should be punished? You have a victim mentality. You can't move forwrd, heal from past hurt or grow to your full potential unless you chose to stop feeling victimised.  Life happens. Sometimes it stinks. Often it's unfair. But that doesn't make you a victim.  I hear from caller Jen who calls "Uncle" because her son and two neighbor kids -- all ages 9 and older -- won't play by themselves. Say what? And Stacey loses her mind because her teen neice is pregnant, and she's worried this will automatically impregnant her own teen daughter, whom she has over-protected at birth (listen to what I tell her about teens, sex and her parenting). 

In this episode of Like a Mother with Emma Johnson, I go off on entitled women -- What's with all the "Deserve"? You deserve a big house even though your (now ex) husband earned 100% of the money and you decided to give up your career? You deserve a new, pricey handbag, even though you're broke, because you worked hard today? You know who worked hard? Everyone. I dig into the root of this nonsense (your self-imposed sense of victimhood), and take a call from Laura, who is dealing with a classic cases of the poor-me's, which has manifested itself into $70,000 credit card debt and five half-assed professional projects that are going nowhere fast. Also hear from Barbara who is at her wit's end trying to run a restaurant she recently bought (seriously, you can hear the freak-out in her voice) - and we work through a few marketing ideas that will get her on her feet ASAP. Have a listen.

  Having a flexible work schedule is one of the most empowering things you can do for your career, family and self-esteem. In this episide I explain what a work-at-home career has done for me, and share secrets to building the job situation that works best for you and your family. Guest Sara Sutton Fell, CEO of FlexJobs, offers insight into this growing job trend and tips for landing the job with a schedule you crave. Caller Michelle feels overworked and wishes she had more time with her family. I help her identify what is holding her back: A low-paying, time-sucking weekend job that stands in the way of her dreams.

  If your kids' other parent doesn't see the kids regularly, it can be devastating -- for you and the kids. It is also devastating for the absent parent. In this episode I help single parents cope with this very sad situation -- both on a practical level, but also contending with the pain and grief. Also, Ashley calls in with a beautiful story of forgiveness and love. Her young son's father recently re-entered their lives, and now the boy has four loving parents trying to transition into a new family - with some minor growing pains. Have a listen.  

Happy Thanksgiving!  You can't be happy unless you're grateful. So how do you become grateful? On this episode I share how a simple gratitude exercise helped me get through the most difficult time of my life, and another simple practice I do with my young kids to teach them this critical skill. Then caller Fonda shares her pain and frustration over her ex-husband's sporadic visits with her 11-year-old daughter, and the toll it takes on both of them. I give her a three-part plan for dealing with what she can't control.  The Emma Johnson Show, a live call-in program, is syndicated nationwide on AM at noon ET Wednesdays.  Listen live: LifestyleTalkRadio.com  Call in: 888-454-3378 

In blog post this week on WealthySingleMommy.com I shared how my boyfriend of three months spent the night for the first time with my kids home. My kids were a little confused -- and I suggest listening with respect to your children's concerns about your dating. But mostly it was normal. Because dating and sex and parenting are normal. Our culture tells mothers that they have no right to be sexual adults with romantic needs. Bullshit, I say. In this episode I share what happened with my family, and also welcome guest Ray, an old friend who gave me grief on Facebook earlier about how repeats of different men sleeping over is going to be really bad for my kids. Um, hello. My kids have met exactly two men I've dated -- the last one three years ago. Why default to the "single moms who date are filthy whores whose parade of lovers will corrupt her kids" ? We have at it. It's fun, but also to the point: every family is different, dating and being a mom are not incongruous, and the party-line view of moms datin

This week I wrote a couple of posts for Forbes on changes in alimony:  Stay-at-Home Mom Facing Divorce? Don't Expect Alimony and  An End to Alimony Would be Good for Women To quote myself:  An end of alimony would force each able-bodied person to be financially responsible for themselves . Suffragists and feminists before us fought bitterly (and joyously, one would hope) so you and I have financial and legal parity with men. We have a way to go, but for the most part in this country women have opportunity to support themselves. With opportunity comes responsibility. You choose to be financially dependent on someone else (like a husband), you take a risk. If that marriage ends and you have little career equity and low earning potential as a result, you must pay the consequences of the downside of that risk. I also explored the topic on "The Emma Johnson Show" this morning, when Charlotte called in, asking about whether she could sue her ex-husband for more alimony, even though their divorce has been settled fo

  On my blog WealthySingleMommy.com I've been writing a lot about outsouring -- and how paying someone else to do your laundry, clean your house and other mundane tasks is the key to making the most of your time and energy. In fact, outsourcing is critical if you want to get ahead -- no matter if you are poor or filthy freaking rich. Women often refuse to hire these services without thinking logically about them, instead reverting told, tired gender roles that tell women that good moms, wives and women clean their own floors and do their own wash-and-fold. You have to get over these mantras if you want to get ahead.  I help caller Yoli figure out how to outsource her most loathed household task -- grocery shopping, a chore that each week costs her 2.5 hours, untold anxiety, and in the event she doesn't do it, this single mom resorts to restaurant food, which of course is more expensive and less healthy. To boot -- she lives in rural Colorado, so by outsourcing each week, she saves risks to her life when drivi

  I often hear from single moms whose children's father is not in the picture -- sometimes they are desperate to know what to say, othertimes they dismiss the situation as no big deal. It is a big deal. A huge one. But not one that will destroy your kids lives -- if you confront and deal with it. In this episode I share my own experience being raised by a single mom with an MIA dad, as an example of what NOT to do, and share why it is so important to address this loss, and how to do it. Then we hear from Michelle who wants to know how to get her teens to open up at the nightly family dinner, and Kelley, who feel she sacrificed to stay home with her kids -- and is now left behind in the workforce. 

On "The Emma Johnson Show" I dig into one of the most common reasons I hear women say they aren't striving for their dreams: Lack of money.  Caller Tracey and her family are trying to get ahead financial after her husband got out of jail. She blames his back child-support payments as the reason why she can't pursue her dream of real estate investment. I help her see how it is really her and her husband’s resentment towards those payments is the real culprit - not the payments. I also help her realize the first step in making her new career move. Have a listen!