Miserable Retail Slave

Franks were born that way/ The passage of time (1:15)/ A confidential tale + living a life powered by confusion (1:45)/ Dad Grishem (2:50)/ A Deer Tale + the best pizza boy in movies (4:00)/ Tommy lives in a bad part of town now and gets a visit from The Washington Prowler (14:00)/ I Love you Colonel Sanders. A Finger Licking’ Good Dating Simulator (16:35)/ Let’s talk about culinary school (18:50)/ The Green Day, Fall Out Boy, Weezer Tour (20:00)/ Warm yourself by the burning flames that is the dumpster fire that is my life (22:00)/ Opposites attract? (25:14)/  You ever see a couple in public and wonder what they talk about (26:26)/ Deadly in the art of making technology awkward (27:55)/ Good weird or bad weird? (31:00)/ What happened with Rita and the message that Dan from Netflix N Swill wanted Randy to send (33:00)/ Piss-gasm (37:33)/ Oh, delicious irony (40:16)/ Jay Chandrasekhar and Kevin Farley - don’t talk to him about Chris (47:11)/ Mr Ho-Hum The Raven (47:53)/  Tommy went to the wrong bathroom and Ra

A road trip episode!    Sleep number car (2:49)/ a sign language road argument (3:39)/ reuniting with childhood friends and burning the mother down (7:39)/ The Intervention Retail Slave (IRS) (14:00)/  is it offensive or naw? + the art of people watching (17:00)/ #38 (23:00)/ Our new Patron Saint, Jay Chandrasekhar (25:36)/ Tommy opened for Jay Chandrasekhar and the story of how Tommy got the clip (26:00)/ I’ve never heard of White Claw before the last 2 weeks (35:55)/ Tommy ruins everything (40:23)/ an attempted flirtation + an American gothic (45:00)   (Episode 237)   Visit the Patreon page at Patreon.com/MiserableRetailSlave and get access to exclusive content! Call The Miserable Hotline!!! (810) 328-3826 "LIKE" us on the Facebook, would ya? Even better, come join our closed Facebook crew and enjoy the insanity. Just search “Miserable Retail Slave” on the Facebook! https://www.facebook.com/groups/832006570279942/   Leave us a 5-star, positive iTunes review...that would be so kind of you! Follow us on Insta

S07E08. Flight of the Bumblebae    (Special guest Dan from Netflix N’ Swill podcast)   The Mattress Man/ The “That’s What She Said” game/ The disappointment of life and delayed gratification (1:13)/ the drunk stereotype girl (3:55)/ The Drinking Challenge (4:54)/ Horror is a 2nd grade Beatles musical (7:00)/  Netflix N’ Swill podcast (13:50)/ Netflix Purgatory and what are you binging? (Bojack Horseman, Black Mirror, Stranger Things) (15:11)/ Randy’s guardian angel is George “the Animal” Steele (19:00)/ podcast dating with Dan (23:54)/ Ghosting (26:00)/ Dan’s bad dating stories (29:28)/ Bumble and the rules of Bumble (33:56)/ after 3 years, the return of Rita (37:00)/ Tommy has a mission (47:00)/ “I hate to say this but people seem to like you” (52:00)/ An online dating message sent (53:27)/ A fear of Terrible Towels (54:00)/ Smartphones ruin arguments (58:00)   (Episode 236)   Visit the Patreon page at Patreon.com/MiserableRetailSlave and get access to exclusive content! Call The Miserable Hotline!!! (810) 3

We're back. Finally. We promise. Our plan to save the country/ American Carnage (1:19)/ These olds and what are these teens up to these days (2:00)/ Uniting the country through the man-bun and the Man-Bun Brigade and Beautiful Macho (3:39)/ the Myth of Hayden Man-Bun (8:38)/ storming Area 51 (13:38)/ Getting courted with job interviews and becoming adults (16:55)/ Randy’s career fair: job interviews are like online dating (20:00)/ the birth of Rurals J Perkins and Tom Hanks is a cad (22:06)/ Tommy is trying to change his voice (25:50)/ Tommy and the Post Malone concert and the Kid Rock concert experience (27:00)/ Tommy performs comedy in front of children (29:13)/ Tommy kills a segment dead and talking about the initial J (31:28)/ Jay Larson and The Thruline (37:20)/ We need your feedback: eyebros 810-328-3826 (39:48)/ my summer was like that picture of a sea lion caught in a humpback whale’s mouth. (44:17)/ butterflies are haunting me (46:02)/ Randy and Tommy are runners now  (47:02)/ Female empowerment book

3 dates scheduled, no dates had/ Tommy’s far away and distant like an emotional star (1:15)/ No good comes from the line “I Met Her on Tinder” (1:40)/ The first 48 hours are the most important (in online dating) (3:00)/ Can we put the faces of online dating ghosts on the sides of Starbucks coffee cups (4:00)/ Promises (4:50)/ Tinder is like going to the strip club in the middle of the afternoon (5:30)/ The Summer of George (9:15)/ Standing in line at the 7-11 (10:15)/ Short Guy Bagel Boss Meltdown (12:00)/ “You’re not God, my father, and my boss” (14:00)/ Andrew Duncan on Twitter: Bosom Department (17:00)/ We’ve heard enough from stupid old white guys (18:15)/ Faceapp (19:00)/ Jesus Chicken (20:00)/ Live, Laugh, Love - I’ve been living, I’ve been laughing, but where’s my lovin? (21:00)/ Remember the bug zapper (23:08)/ Match dot com conspiracy theory (24:00)/ Online dating sites are not benevolent electronic cupids (26:09)/ The GREEN DOTS OF DOOM (ONLINE NOW) (26:50)/ A hopeful promise (30:00)/ Missed Connect

Sweatsuit Koala/ A restaurant problem - no straws, save the turtles (:48)/ A Fancy Nancy and not a Tom Clancy (2:00)/ Save a straw, save a turtle - the turtle straw (3:30)/ Turtle season (5:00)/ Shredder and Krang should’ve used straws against the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (6:30)/ Song of the Summer: Old Town Road (11:20)/ Week of the weird (12:30)/ A public restroom experience - being a big stall hog (15:20)/ Living in Selfish City, USA, population, me myself and moi (21:35)/ Overreaction theater: flannel shirts in the summer and soggy cereal (23:20)/ Tommy becomes a brand (24:40)/ Bored AF and needing a companion (29:04)/ The Devil’s Whisper (31:00)/ Online dating nonsense returns (32:00)/ Online dating is like a Karate Kid crane kick to the face (35:13)/ Startling Tinder facts, the swipes, and we invent Sinister Tinder (35:55)/ Becoming a powerballer (38:00)/ Tommy’s big shows with Kevin Farley and Jay Chandrasekhar (Super Troopers) (43:44)/ A Tinder tale (48:00)/ Revenge Tinder and Super Likes and OH!

A comedian’s chariot/ a Midway Adventure - people watching - the simplest things about human behavior (1:00)/ Enter: Mom Jeans (2:30)/ Head Daddy Macho makes his move with a high waisted woman (5:57)/ That Work Work Work Week Felon (14:00)/ you ever break a promise (16:00)/ Words are weird - Ruthless - find your Ruth (16:25)/ tap dancing around words when you first date someone - women have word power - grammar vultures  (20:00)/ Finding the dumbest genie - not buying Will Smith as the Genie - being a wingman like the Genie (23:19)/ worrying about the general public saying the wrong thing - going AWOL with a mouth - The Freshman and Jakob Dylan - (25:00)/ Randy has a deep conversation with a stranger named Curtis - Randy has a receptive soul - tainted spirits (33:00)/ mental traumas (40:25)/ A story of chapstick, Al Gore, and the Goo Goo Dolls (41:56)/ The buzzworthy event of the University of Michigan - Flint (45:00)/ feeling like I’m stuck in a mission in Grand Theft Auto (47:00)/ mortified by the chapstick

High and mighty about calendars/ “a man has a lot of deep thoughts when he’s under a white trash sky and a Budweiser spell” (1:00)/ brooding like a silent son (2:30)/ The King of Funk (4:20)/ First person shoot your shoter game (6:13)/ sneezing in front of another man (7:00)/ Mattitude (8:15)/ Perspectives (9:30)/ Focusing on what is, not what if (12:30)/ The Bermuda shorts triangle (14:15)/ Mr Pancakes (17:00)/ learning hypnotism (18:00)/ An invitation made (20:22)/ Quality Question: sincere invite or pleasantry (24:00)/ Randy rose in a hot air balloon today (29:40)/ showing up to a date in a hot dog hot air balloon (32:30) Recorded May 29, 2019 at 10:45 pm. (Episode 231)

Unleased episode, recorded in October 2018   Choose your own adventure/ Randy’s childhood broadcasting skills (1:00)/ choose your own existential crisis (4:50)/ That time Tommy heckled a comedian (6:30)/ Tommy’s opening for Jim Florentine and Tommy looks like a Muppet (7:45)/ UFC will be better with cyborgs (9:00)/ “Life...now with 30% more fretting...” (9:30)/ the soundtrack to sleeping (13:55)/ there’s nothing worse than your parent’s views on the issues (14:45)/ Outside, the gawky awkward boy anthem (17:52)/ becoming huge Trapt fans (18:50)/ Johnny Trapt (20:00)/ The Ignorance is Bliss Times (22:04)/ The Me Me Me Crisis (22:35)/ Olsen Twin theories (26:30)/ Tommy’s tale of stalking ex-girlfriends (30:26)/ The Legend of Kyle Hogan (32:50) Tommy is middling (33:30)/ Tommy doesn’t give two flying hoots about Randy’s life (34:36)/ Tommy bombs onstage (35:00)/ up north, Michigan (36:00)/ Dirtbikes (37:00)/  UFO con - the biggest UFO convention in Michigan (40:00)/ up north theater life (45:00) (episode 230) Vis

This week, it’s an entire episode wrapped around the song, “Your Love” by The Outfield. How can you sustain an entire hour based on a 3 minute song? It’s possible. Take a listen and learn how.    Josie’s on a vacation far away/ Songs as book marks/ Dancing and the folly of saying yes/ Life is a collection of all the lessons that we have learned/ The 7th year of Miserable Retail Slave/ The Venomous Duck-billed Platypus of Podcasting/ Leaving things unsaid/ Tommy No-Game/ I Ain’t Got Many Friends Left To Talk To/ The origin of Randy’s trust issues: a TMNT backstabbing and THE TREE/ Dogs are furry ouija boards/ Everyone got married/ A Snapchat filter that would be really useful - THE REALIST FILTER/ Shoot Your Shot 2K19/ Some people need to talk like they are faking an orgasm/ A peer pressure bully and trying to make Randy cooler/ Missed connections: is it a crush?/ The changing meaning of songs/ we’re in your heads   Visit the Patreon page at Patreon.com/MiserableRetailSlave and get access to exclusive content!

Name equals how horrible people are/ Dollar stores and Licky Charms (1:00)/ Paul, the dollar store cashier (3:00)/ The rules of trash can (5:30)/ 7 years of Miserable Retail Slave (11:10)/ Retail therapy (13:30)/ The books in Tommy’s office, the House that Comedy Built (16:07)/ a mid life crisis job and needing a motorcycle to get the girl (18:53)/ The comedy adventures (25:00)/ Tommy the realist therapist (27:00)/ The blues (29:50)/ the average American spends too much on nonessentials (32:45)/ Vitamin D(eath) (34:00)/ Tommy has a thing (38:30)/ Missed Connections (43:13)/ Tommy has no goals left (45:00)/ Randy on Epic Film Guys (48:00)/ Kissy motions and pregnant women (49:30)/ Missed Connections: donor boy (53:27)   Visit the Patreon page at Patreon.com/MiserableRetailSlave and get access to exclusive content! Call The Miserable Hotline!!! (810) 328-3826 "LIKE" us on the Facebook, would ya? Even better, come join our closed Facebook crew and enjoy the insanity. Just search “Miserable Retail Slave” on the F

    Memes/ Tommy’s sober again/ it’s gotta be May/ if you drank Tommy (3:55)/ Tommy - alcoholic beverage (4:40)/ Getting tattooed with haunted ink (6:34)/ The 27 Club and if Kurt Cobain had lived (8:45)/ beware your thrift store purchase might have ghosts (11:00)/ Stephen King and Joe Hill (11:40)/ the war between heaven and hell is like Monopoly (13:45)/ the ghost perfume (15:45)/ haunted couches (17:00)/ spirit animals (21:00)/ The milkshake (24:00)/ double blown and Randy on Epic Film Guys (27:00)/ scared men in the grocery store (31:10)/ people watching (33:45)/ Tommy is opening for Kevin Farley (41:30)/ Missed Connections (43:00)/ Tommy has never been flirted with (52:00)/ Foot Guy and used socks (55:00)/ isn’t the skunk spray proof of God (57:00)

A story begins/ culmination/ Easter - a holiday or not (1:00)/ robotic miserable Retail slaves (2:13)/ Tommy’s U-scan story (3:10)/ automated retail employees will be the start of the robot apocalypse/ Spring weather and Anxious dads waiting to mow those lawns (10:50)/ becoming a lawn dad (12:10)/ second hand stank (13:20)/ Miserable Retail Slave turns 7 years old soon (16:32)/ finding a purpose in unemployment (16:40)/ The Gumball Mogul and The Severe Stutter (17:15)/ Finding salvation in Twitter (19:35)/ developing yodel skills (21:47)/ the story of the Yahoo yodel (22:23)/ a textual relationship (29:00)/ From wallflower to adventurer (31:00)/ Tommy’s foul mouthed childhood (32:46)/ meet me halfway and the Kenny Loggins vault of songs for every movie (35:00)/ an adventure unfolds and the plot twists (37:00)/ kittenfished (37:48)/ the weirdest GPS and my GPS backwoods spirit (40:22)/ the danger of roundabouts (41:24)/ Small towns and weird radio stations (43:00)/ The result of Taking a chance (45:00) Visit t

Adult kindergarteners/ “does everything you do have to be a chore?”/ Tommy day dreams about wallpaper (3:00)/ Tommy is sober again/ one loose vowel (7:00)/ filters (10:00)/ the most passive-aggressive way to break up (12:15)/ the cool things in Tommy’s office (16:20)/ livestream for the cure 3 (22:00)/ Tommy’s 21 birthday and Tommy destroys a girl in the mosh pit (24:49)/ Tommy’s bathroom adventures (28:00)/ God’s Court Jester/ what is the appeal of the white shorts? (29:00)/ The Myth of the 21st birthday (35:00)/ you ever lived a life? (48:50)/ online dating (50:00)/ Randy’s lot in life (51:00)/ Todd, the original online dater (51:30)/ The hidden speakeasy (56:58)/ the bartender stinkeye (59:00)/ Tommy’s keto diet

The things that I worry about most never seem to happen/ Birds (1:35)/ Tommy running pains (3:20)/ Herb (6:00)/ it’s a good thing animals are dumb (7:00)/ The man who killed a cougar with his bare hands (7:30)/ Dad-toos (9:00)/ A flock of sassy parrots (9:40)/ The Endearing Old Dogs of Podcasting (13:00)/ Tommy’s whirlwind tour of the Midwest (14:00)/ Tommy’s performing in Canada...apologies to Canada (14:47)/ The Dirt on Netflix (15:40)/ Crosswords Mysteries and romantic comedies on the Hallmark channel (17:13)/ As the ball-gag rolls...(20:30)/ a date (24:12)/ the mythology of Tommy’s garlic tattoo (26:13)/ Momo is real (28:15)/ some people need personality implants (29:40)/ gas station flirting (33:00)/ sex robots (34:00)/ put it on my gravestone “Terrible Choices” (35:00)/ Livestream for the Cure 3 and Randy on The Rob and Slim show (44:00)/ Missed Connections: the purple haired girl meets comedians on the bus (45:39)/ just metal (50:00)/ Vaping partners (54:47)/ smoking a corn cob pipe (58:00) Visit the

Gas stations are the crossroads of America/ Are there rich people gas stations?/ The origin of Tommy’s super powers + Tommy Man (2:30)/ What is this: Quote City USA? (5:30)/ Randy’s face makes a girl puke (5:40)/ Randy Looks like a fetus boy (10:15)/ a new weight loss program (12:00)/ winning the approval of Tommy’s daughter (16:00)/ we’re like Seinfeld meets Clerks (17:00)/ being on Joe Rogan’s podcast and Bill Burr (18:53)/ teens look like they’re born with filters on (22:12)/ Aliens, the deep sea, and mermaids (24:00)/ everything changes when you meet a talking crab (25:47)/ The Momo challenge (26:02)/ all these challenges (33:00)/ The triangle dance/ Big Sock is always holding us down (34:00)/ The Operation Instagram Challenge (35:15)/ “I’m a rough and tumble man” (41:00)/ becoming a Reply Guy(45:46)/ knock knock, is the door open? (50:00)/ Randy fails (57:00)/ Randy’s career fair (1:00:00)/ Bob Dion (1:01:36)/ A Wal-Mart Indiana Jones, Retail arbitrage, Gary Vaynerchuk (1:03:00)/ Rodney Dangerfield 2K19

Tommy has a Wall O’ Comedy and is no Ric Flair (0:55)/ A Tommy is born (Tommy hates “A Star is Born”) (3:00)/ Bradley Cooper, we remember where you came from (4:20)/ Tommy is a headlining comedian now (6:01)/ The highlight of champions (8:20)/ achieving dreams (9:01)/ “I don’t want to be famous”(13:00)/ Tree names (21:02)/ Randy is a magnet now (22:29)/ Officer Cupid - OkCupid has made Randy a moderator - OkStupid (25:05)/ Spud Webb shoes (27:00)/ hey Czech Republic, we see you (29:00)/ ASMR millionaire stars on YouTube (34:02)/ quality question: why would any man not wear a belt? (39:00)/ MRS on Livestream for the Cure, on the Epic Film Guys Podcast, and Randy on the Rob and Slim show (46:14)/ All men are cheaters and other enlightening Facebook comments (48:45)/ Men are made of X, Y, and cheater cheater pumpkin eater chromosomes (52:51)/ Missed connections: Seen that dagger on my cheek and happy endings. (54:37)   Visit the Patreon page at Patreon.com/MiserableRetailSlave and get access to exclusive content

Flying solo/ Getting tired of being of people being disappointing (2:15)/ make your moms proud (4:00)/ lasers (5:00)/ never got that laser background (6:00)/ The wrong idea about GI Joe (7:41)/ class reunions (13:20)/ social media killed the class reunion (13:54)/ fart rock (16:22)/ the return of Narc Fist (16:53)/ The meaning of rock songs (17:48)/ liking people and people watching (19:14)/ a Retail story of a mumbler (20:00)/ blissful ignorance (23:24)/ Catfish of America (23:50)/  Catfish decisions (26:34)/ Sincere apologies (30:50)/ chum with benefits and friends with flirting (32:30)   Visit the Patreon page at Patreon.com/MiserableRetailSlave and get access to exclusive content! Call The Miserable Hotline!!! (810) 328-3826 "LIKE" us on the Facebook, would ya? Even better, come join our closed Facebook crew and enjoy the insanity. Just search “Miserable Retail Slave” on the Facebook! https://www.facebook.com/groups/832006570279942/ Leave us a 5-star, positive iTunes review...that would be so kind of you!

Epiphany + The new premise of the podcast is we search for our premise every week + The meaning of Todd/ Tommy’s epiphanies (2:29)/ The Beloved’s epiphany (3:01)/ Bidet talk (4:55)/ Tommy’s hand washing reward (6:13)/ Never been epiphany worthy (6:55)/ Pizza Talk (10:16)/ Livestream for the Cure 3 with the Epic Film  (16:00)/ Ice Falls (20:04)/ Dave Coulier - our new arch enemy (23:10)/ Deserve (25:37)/ “I threw up in my mouth a little bit” (26:17)/ The Nacho Fiasco re-visited (27:30)/ Vanilla Ice deserves some slack (30:21)/ You deserve to survive (34:02)/ Gwyneth Paltrow skied into a man (36:00)/ Randy’s Career Fair: Life Writer and Liam Neeson is an idiot (39:25)/ Gucci’s stupid blackface sweaters (45:13)/ Randy was a guest on episode 3 of the new Couch Party podcast (50:00)/ Ghosting and Valentina (52:04)/ Tommy’s lost hat created a magical snowman (56:50)/ Missed Connections (1:00:00)     Visit the Patreon page at Patreon.com/MiserableRetailSlave and get access to exclusive content! Call The Miserable Ho

Mr Punctual, a new super villain/ Yet Another Gas Station tale (2:47)/ Does Kid Rock remember Tommy? (3:30)/ “Just Do It” face tattoos (5:00)/ Greta Van Fleet on SNL/ are there tattoo counselors out there? (8:47)/ DIY tattoos and the straight line requirement (13:00)/ Tommy practices a joke (17:00)/ irrational fears and Heavy Metal Drive Thru (19:55)/ “I’m on the drug of life...they told me it was the best high” (24:00)/ Due for a mighty fall (31:00)/ A bar fall and black tar pit karma (33:33)/ Tommy’s expensive Moose Drool (34:00)/ this weird world gets weirder and how do lunatics become homeowners (38:00)/ a cat woman (40:05)/ let the football dads become real Couch Coaches (42:52)/ Valentines Day is like carbon monoxide for relationship (47:00)/ how did Scrooge McDuck and Richie Rich make so much money? (50:08)/ All American Stepdad (52:19)/ Tommy’s big crowd (53:30)/ Catfish of America (59:45)/ Star Battles (1:00:47)      Visit the Patreon page at Patreon.com/MiserableRetailSlave and get access to exclusi